Need Some Time
by pianoem
Summary: Meredith and Derek. A story about their lives together.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything to do with Grey's Anatomy. I wish I did...

**A/N:** My first fic ever guys, so don't be too harsh! I'm a New Zealander. I'm pretty much up-to-date with the eps, but we've only just aired um "Grandma got run over by a reindeer" (?) This fic is just based around Meredith and Derek really, not really much surgical stuff, as I'm not familiar with the terminology. Takes place after Derek chooses Addison. A bit of MerDer fluff.

* * *

Meredith woke up the sound of the shower, and Derek singing badly.

She chuckled and gathered up the sheets around her tighter. She didn't know how she could let it go this far. He was married for god's sake. Last night was all a huge mistake, a big drunken mistake. She loved him; she couldn't stop loving him. It hurt to be with him; but it hurt to be away from him more. She yearned to be near him, to touch him, to smell him. She wanted him to be her everything. But she knew Addison was his wife.

"Lucky cow" she mumbled, wincing at the pounding headache; evidence from the night before.

The water stopped. As Derek padded his way across the bedroom, Meredith pretended to sleep. His hand just gently touched her face and lightly kissed her. A lone tear escaped from her eyes, as the thought of Derek going back to Addison crept in her head.

"Hey, Mer, what's wrong." Derek whispered, his face etched with concern.

Meredith squeezed her eyes tighter and turned around, just wishing he hadn't seen that.

"Mer, talk to me. I'm here for you"

Meredith let out a sigh.

"That's it Derek," She said, hesitantly, "Your not here, you're married. You have a wife. As much as I love you, I know…" She sighed and lowered her voice to a whisper. "I know that you're not mine. I can't do this anymore. I can't love you. This was all a big mistake…"

Meredith tried to scramble out of bed, to get away from Derek. She needed some time to herself to think.

His strong arm stopped her; held her delicate arms tight. His hands brushed the loose strands of hair covering her face. He gently cupped her face and pressed his forehead against hers. Her tears slowly fell down her face.

"Meredith" He sighed "I love you, more than words can describe. The moment Addison came back…"  
Meredith shuddered at the sound of her name. Derek lifted her chin so their eyes met.

"The moment Addison came back, I couldn't stop thinking about you. Yes, I chose her. I thought I had to try to make it work, I thought I owed our marriage that much. But I couldn't deny it. I never stopped loving you."

Meredith stared into his blue orbs. The eyes. Window to the soul. She could see the frustration, pain tattooed into his soul. She lightly kissed him on the cheek.

"I need some time alone, please." She murmured.

She grabbed her coat and left the house.

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Review? 


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Meredith dashed down the stairs, and ran out the front door. Banging it behind her.

Izzy looked quizzically at George while sipping her coffee.

"What was that about?" She mumbled, contemplating running after her. _Nah, she though. She probably needs time on her own. _

* * *

Meredith didn't know what to do. She thought she fell in love with the man of her dreams. Derek Shepard: a top neurosurgeon, hot, sexy and she thought he was available. Her dreams came crashing around her that night she found out about Addison. Derek picked her. One minute she had everything she ever wanted, and the next all hell broke loose in the form of Addison Shepard. So everyday was painful, watching them together at Seattle Grace. But everything was going as well as it could be. Meredith was slowly moving on. Then this happens; one drunken, horrible, confusing mistake. She loved Derek; Derek said he loved her.

Meredith found herself walking along the harbour. She glanced around and saw ferry boats.

"You know I have a thing for ferry boats."

Meredith turned around, and saw Derek with his wavy, black hair. He looked tired, and worn out. Small rings were forming under his eyes.

"Yeah, I know" she whispered quietly, slowly walking away. She couldn't bear to look at him.

"Wait Meredith" Derek said grabbing her arm.

Meredith flinched at his touch.

"What Derek, what? What can you possibly say that can fix all this? I loved you ok? I believed you. I trusted you. You picked her. Now you tell me you love me? You love me? No, you don't… you can't say that to me." She yelled with tears streaming down her face.

"Meredith, I don't love Addison, not like I love you. It's taken me an eternity to figure out that I want you. I'm sorry…"

He moved closer towards Meredith and brushed her wet cheeks with his thumb.

"I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you. I'm sorry for being so stupid. I can handle brain surgery any day but when it comes to love, I'm sometimes a bit slow"

Meredith chuckled, tears slowly dribbling down her face. Her hands moved to touch his face, as if to see if he was real. Her hands traced the outlines of his face and slowly bought up her arm to cling around his neck. Derek closed his eyes, hoping this was a sign that she loved him too. Meredith sobbed quietly and rested her head in the crook of his neck.

"I think I've officially used you jersey as a handkerchief. I'm sorry" She said after she had nearly drenched his jersey.

Derek laughed. She smiled inwardly; she missed that laugh.

"It's okay, Meredith, I am sorry. I want to be happy with you. You make me happy; ecstatically happy."

Meredith hesitantly sighed.

"What's wrong Mer?" asked Derek looking overly concerned.

"You know what everyone will say about us…"

"Who cares what they think Meredith, I love you. That's what really matters"

"Yeah, I just think… you need to get everything else… sorted before we can begin to try again."

"I know. I will sort it out. Addison knows it was over before Mark"

"Promise me that you won't hurt me again, and that you will sort it out. I don't want you…"

"Shhh" Derek's finger silenced her. "I promise."

Meredith nodded, hoping he was right. That he would keep to his promise.

They sat together on the bench; Derek's arm around Meredith, watching the ferry boats.

* * *

**A/N:** Hey thanks for all the great reviews. I'm sorry if it gets a bit repetitive… I think I can't really remember what I wrote, lol! I'm sorry if people don't really understand what I'm writing. Basically Derek chose Addison, but after one drunken night, he sleeps with Meredith, but realises his true feelings! I'm hoping not to let it drag on too long. But I think it might, so I'm sorry if it does! But I always liked reading long fanfics!

janedoe88- I heard about it not being on Australia at the moment, my friend was quite disappointed!

aruora.grissom- I know! Everyone knows that Derek and Meredith love each other, just by the way they look at each other!

AlotLikeMeredith- I think this chapter is a little longer, sorry not really (after looking at it). I'll compensate by trying to write another chapter tonight!

ilajkajas2215- I'm sorry! I think I cleared it up a little bit in this chapter.

Lisejane- Thank you! Yes it is my first fic, finally gathered up the courage to write something! I love MerDer fics very much!

luv24+Alias- Thank you! I love Alias too!

Greyaddict, shoppingal87, Heather0120- Thank you very much for your awesome reviews!

Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Derek and Meredith sat on the small bench. Meredith hadn't slept that much the night before and started to drift off in the comfort of Derek's arms.

"Oh, I completely lost track of time and I have a surgery today. I'm sorry Mer. I have to go." Derek said, shaking Meredith lightly.

"What… oh okay" Meredith stuttered. "Um, did you drive here? I sorta walked here and I'm feeling a little bit cold." Meredith noticed she was wearing a thin, silk slip; she wore the night before, with a small jacket. She blushed, feeling idiotic that she didn't notice it before.

Derek laughed. "Yeah I drove here. I wasn't too sure where you went. Lucky this was the first place I checked."

"Yeah, lucky…" Meredith mumbled, drifting into a daydream. What was she going to tell Izzie and George? She knew that they saw McDreamy leaving the house.

As they pulled up the driveway she noticed their cars were still there; of course. It was still early; Derek just had to get ready for work.

"Oh god…" She mumbled, holding her head in her hands, pretending that throbbing headache wasn't there.

"You alright Mer?" asked Derek, obviously concerned for her.

"Yeah, I'm alright" She said dashing out of the car. "I might see you at work" She waved at him and dashed in the house hoping that she would be able to sneak past Izzie and George.

Derek sighed and pulled out of the driveway. He knew today was going to be a long day.

* * *

"Meredith, what was that about" yelled Izzie.

_Damn_ thought Meredith _made it to the foot of the staircase._

"Yeah?" said Meredith, warily, shuffling into the kitchen.

"Was that McDreamy?" questioned George with a hint of jealousy in his voice.

"Um… yeah… it was…" Meredith answered, wishing it could just be easier. But of course nothing in life was ever simple.

"Are you insane Meredith? Do you know what you're getting into? He broke your heart!" yelled Izzie spilling coffee on George.

"Geez watch it Izzie…" mumbled George, avoiding eye-contact with Meredith.

"Izzie, I know" Meredith sighed. "I've asked myself those questions over and over. Last night, was a mistake to start with, but I think it may be the start of something. I believe in second chances and I'm not going to let myself get hurt again. He promised me he wouldn't. I don't know if I can trust him. But I'm willing to try."

"You said it yourself, you don't know if you can trust him." Izzie said. "George help me out here" she hissed at George.

"I think, Mer, if you think you're sure. Then I'll stand back. I'm here for you though Meredith. I hope you know that… excuse me" George mumbled, and with that he left the kitchen and out of the house.

"Izzie, I just hope you can be here for me too." said Meredith tired from all the fighting.

"I'm always here for you Meredith. I just don't want you to get hurt, that's all."

"I know. Thank you." Meredith sighed and closed her eyes.

"I'm just going to get ready for work" Meredith whispered and headed to her room.

Meredith sighed again for about the twentieth time. Today was going to be a long day.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Meredith stood outside in the car park of Seattle Grace Hospital. The rain drizzling on her hair, not that she noticed. She was trying to gather the courage to walk in there. Face the reality. Well, she had to go there sooner or later and people weren't going to get better with her just standing there…

"Here goes nothing" Meredith said. She took a big breath and sprinted into the big doors before she chickened out.

* * *

"Oh crap…" she murmured when millions of pairs of eyes just stared at her. _They know_ she thought. Meredith quicklyheaded to the locker room, to get changed for her next shift.

"Meredith… wait"

Meredith closed her eyes and pretended she didn't hear him. The hospital was already gossiping enough.

"Mer… Mer… hold up" yelled Derek catching up to her.

Meredith hesitantly turned around.

"Dr. Shepherd, can I help you?" She asked; she was at work, she didn't want to compromise her position at Seattle Grace for Derek Shepherd.

"Are we back to_ this_ now, _Dr._ Grey?... I just wanted to know, are you free for lunch?"

"Um… I'm not sure if that's appropriate Dr. Shepherd. You're my boss. I don't think it would be very professional to be having lunch at the hospital here… where we can be seen." She replied raising one eyebrow,

"Mer, don't worry about what anyone else thinks. I want to have lunch with you." Derek moved closer to her, lightly touching her forearm.

Meredith backed away.

"Have you sorted things out with Addison yet?" she lowered her voice to a whisper.

"No, I'm going to do it soon. I just need to do this properly Mer." he said softly with that comforting voice. He edged closer to heragain, sweeping the stray pieces of hair off her face.

"Okay Derek, I just think we can't do anything until you have sorted it out." said Meredith walking away, fighting back tears, prickling her eyes.

"I promise Meredith" Derek yelled back after her.

Derek watched Meredith walk away and turned around noticing the swarm of people at the nurse's station. Watching him and Meredith, as if they were putting on a play.

"Alright people, let's go save some lives…" Derek said looking visibly embarrassed.

_Now I have to sort out this thing with Addison_ he thought.

Derek spotted Izzie lurking around the nurse's station along with the rest of the people. She had a look in her eyes, as if to say _you hurt Meredith and I will kill you_.

"Er… Dr. Stevens…" He mumbled, acknowledging her with a small nod.

"Listen Dr. Shepherd, do you love Meredith?" Izzie assertively asked Derek.

"Of course I do…" He began, but Izzie interrupted him.

"If you do you need to sort out this thing with Addison, and if you hurt her, Dr. Shepherd… so help me god if you hurt her… You weren't there last time. Meredith was heartbroken, and we had to pick up the pieces." Izzie was getting worked up from the conversation and her face was beginning to go red.

"Dr. Stevens… I won't hurt Meredith, I love her and…" Derek said trying to persuade his sincerity to Izzie.

"Good, make sure you don't" Izzie replied briskly walking away to attend to her next patient.

Derek turned around looking obviously flustered and asked the nurse where Addison was. He needed to end the relationship with Addison. Not that you could call it that. It was dead long before Mark and Meredith.

"Oh, Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd is with that sweet little baby. Poor kid… his mother was a drug addict, and that poor baby was so little when he was born.Can you imagine…" She began to ramble on.

"Thank you" Derek cut in, nodding in appreciation. He turned around to find Addison.

* * *

**A/N**: Holidays still. I have a lot of homework to do, but seriously can't be bothered doing it, so I'm here writing some more for my fic! Thanks for all the lovely reviews, you guys rock!

**Nati girl**- Thank-you! I love MerDer fics very much too! There seem to be a lot of Addek fics lately…

**aruora.grissom**- oh I know! I wish Meredith and Derek stopped denying their love for each other! Everyone can see it! And people that like Addison and Derek together…  
No probs about the shout out :-P. All for the people that review and like my fic! Hope you liked the chapter.

**PatEllen**- oh just the way Meredith and Derek look at each other, you know they are just meant to be! I think even Addison knows, she should stop hanging on! Thank you!

**SBandJasonSamfan**- Same here! I'm a major MerDer fan!

**shoppingal87, Meredith and Derek** - :). Work will be very tough for Meredith and Derek. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.

**AlotLikeMeredith**- Thank you! You're awesome for reviewing!

**luv24+Alias**- Thanks! I'm writing a few more chapters as we speak… or as I write… or whatever:P


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N**: Hey guys, I've been kicked off the net until later tonight (as you can see it is now later in the night...), so I thought I'd write a few more chapters because naturally, I don't want to do my Maths, Chemistry, Physics homework or read Hamlet! So I'm sitting here eating cookies and cream ice cream and eating salt and vinegar chips, writing another chapter! Hope you guys like it! Please review!

* * *

**Chapter 5**

_Speak of the devil…_ thought Derek, just as she caught a glimpse of Addison's bright red hair, walking in the opposite direction.

"Addison" Derek yelled after her, he needed to tell Addison the truth.

"Hey honey… where were you last night, I was worried..." Addison said walking towards Derek with a smile on her face. Her face lit up every time he was near. She loved being around him.

She reached forward to kiss him. He pulled back quickly, before she had the time.

"Addison we need to talk."

"Oh? Well should we go have lunch, I was just about to grab something myself…" She asked, hoping it wasn't what she thought he needed to talk about. She saw the looks between Meredith and Derek lately, and she was nervous. _Don't be silly _Addison thought. _He chose me_.

"Yeah um… okay, a quick lunch."

They walked silently to the hospital cafeteria. Derek avoided eye-contact with Addison. He just wanted to get out of the whole mess with Addison and move one. Start something wonderful with Meredith. Derek smiled. The thought of Meredith made him smile. The thought of Meredith, and her hair made him smile.

Derek looked up and noticed Addison looking at her. His smiled dropped. _God I hope she didn't see that _he thought. _She might get the wrong idea._

They sat on the cold table, silently eating.

"Derek"

"Addison" They mumbled at the same time.

"Oh sorry you first Derek." said Addison looking flushed.

"Okay, um Addie, this is hard for me to say but…" he pushed around his food with his fork and finally looked up at Addison. Addison's face was priceless. Her brow was wrinkled, eye's teary. Derek did love her; he thought he was in love, until he found Meredith. "…this isn't working."

"What isn't working?" Addison queried, pretending she didn't know. She put her hand on top of Derek's.

"I'm sorry Addie, I thought we could work this out. I thought after 11 years I owed that much to our marriage. I love you Addie, but it's not enough. I can't pretend anymore." Derek stared at the hand on top of his as Addison shifted her hand away.

"Derek, I love you. Mark was a terrible mistake. This is about Meredith isn't it…?" Addison asked, on the verge of tears. She couldn't believe this was happening. She thought their marriage could be salvaged and mended. She knew she made a huge slip-up, but she truly loved Derek.

"Addie, this isn't about Meredith. You know as well as I do that our marriage was over before Meredith or Mark. We were kidding ourselves, thinking that we could save it. I will always have a place in my heart for you Addie, I just don't love you like…" Derek caught himself before she said her name.

"Like you love Meredith? That's where you were last night; with her... I guess you want those papers drawn up as soon as possible?" Addison knew he was right. She still loved Derek. But the way Meredith and Derek looked at each other; she envied it. Derek never looked at her that way.

"I'm sorry Addie, I never wanted anyone to get hurt. You know as well as I do that it just wasn't working" said Derek with all sincerity.

"Yeah, I know. I hope you're happy with Meredith" mumbled Addison.

She half-heartily meant what she said. She did hope Derek was happy, she just wanted him to be happy with her. If that wasn't possible then she had to let him go. Derek smiled at her, with that "make-you-melt-in-the-knees" smile. She was going to miss him.

They moved out to the hallway, Derek feeling guilty that his marriage was over. He felt guilty that instead of feeling sad, he felt hopeful that he could start something wonderful with Meredith.

"Goodbye Derek" announced Addison, giving Derek a hug.

"Goodbye Addison" said Derek, lightly squeezing her shoulder.

* * *

**A/N: **Greyaddict- Thanks for the review! I didn't think anyone would read it that fast :) I'm in a writing mood at the moment! So another chapter!

Reviews? I like reviews, inspires me to write more and I'm not just saying that because I want more reviews. It's the truth!


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Meredith rested her head against the lockers, and slid down into a sitting position. She had lost a patient today and all day she was getting looks from all the doctors and nurses. Whispers; _oh did you hear she's back with McDreamy. Who does she think she is?_ And the one that hurt the most: _She can't be with McDreamy. I just saw him with Addison and they looked **pretty **cosy too me…_

Meredith couldn't believe what was happening. _He promised me_ she thought, with tears falling down her cheeks. _He promised that he wouldn't hurt me anymore. I really believed him this time._ She just sat there crying.

* * *

Derek finished his last surgery for the day and was looking forward to see Meredith. _God…Meredith, I just want to hold her._ He thought, sighing. Walking along the hallway Derek saw George looking flustered.

"Dr. O'Malley, are you alright?" Derek asked

"Oh yeah um… Dr. Shepherd, just um… trying to find Dr. Bailey… Have you seen her?"

"She's just down the hall, by the nurse's station" Derek said.

"Thanks Dr. Shepherd" George murmured briskly walking towards the nurse's station.

"Oh George…" Derek yelled after him.

"Dr. Shepherd?" George looked curiously at Derek, looking anxious to find Dr. Bailey.

"Have you seen Meredith?"

"Um… I think she was in the locker room last time I checked and Dr. Shepherd… um… Derek… Dr. Shepherd. Don't hurt her this time. She's really special and she deserves to be loved by someone who she loves…" George mumbled looking embarrassed.

"I know George, I know. Thanks" Derek nodding looking thankfully at George.

George nodded and lifted his charts signalling he had to go find Dr. Bailey and walked off, mumbling to himself.

Derek chuckled to himself. _Meredith is lucky to have such protective friends._

* * *

"God boys are stupid. Burke wants to go furniture shopping. FURNITURE SHOPPING! Why do we need new furniture in the first place?" Cristina Yang yelled storming into the locker room, banging her fist on a locker nearby.

"Maybe he just wants to do something with you?" whispered Meredith, sitting in the same position as she had been for the past hour. Her shift had finished about 2 hours ago, but for some reason she hadn't moved.

Cristina noticed the tear-streaked face, and ruffled hair on Meredith.

"Oh god Mer. What's wrong?" Cristina asked, bending down to sit with her "Is it McDreamy?"

"Why do I put myself to be hurt every time? You would think I had learnt the first time, but no. Just happens again. I wish I could stop loving him, but I can't. I heard people saying he was with Addison. He promised me…" Meredith yelled. She broke down, head resting on Cristina.

"Boys are stupid" Cristina repeated.

Meredith laughed "I know. Boys are really stupid."

"You know what Mer. We need to go out get drunk and forget all about this. Anyways have you thought that it's just rumours?"

"I don't know, but the getting drunk part sounds fun. I can vision a bottle of tequila with my name on it."

"Alright, I'll just get cleaned up and we'll go to Joe's" said Cristina, getting up to have a shower.

"I'll be sitting here. Take your time." Meredith sighed. She wished she didn't believe him to start with.

"Mer?"

Meredith turned her head to see Derek walking into the locker rooms.

"What's wrong Mer?" Derek rushed down to touch her face.

She flinched, as though his hands were on fire and each time he touched her it burned.

"Don't Derek. You'll just make it worse." she whispered, closing her eyes letting her tears silently fall down her cheeks. It seemed like this had been a regular occurrence; her crying unhappily over Derek.

"Mer. I'm here for you. Tell me what's wrong" whispered Derek, stroking her hair.

"I can't Derek. You're with Addison, you liedan you promised me. My patient died today, and you lied to me." Meredith sobbed, fidgeting with the bottom of her top.

"Meredith, look at me." Derek lifted her chin so their eyes met. Meredith looked away, afraid that she would get sucked in again if she looked at his glistening eyes.

"Meredith, look at me." said Derek in a forceful tone. This time Meredith looked at him. Derek saw the pain in her eyes. His brow folded a concerned crease.

"Oh Mer…" he gasped holding her. "I'm not with Addison."

"People have been talking Derek. They saw you with her eating lunch, holding hands. Hugging" cried Meredith, pushing out of Derek's arms.

"Hey Mer… are you ready to go" yelled Cristina walking out rubbing her damp hair. "Oh…" she said when she saw Derek. "I'll just go alright Mer. Just call me" she looked at Meredith while gathering her things.

"You hurt her and I'll…" Cristina threatened as she was walking out the door.

"I know." Derek said looking at Meredith.

"Mer… you know better than to listen to gossip. Yes, we had lunch. Yes, she touched my hand. Yes, we hugged. But it was because I told her that I wanted out; out of our marriage. I told her I wanted you. It was a lunch to break the news to her. She touched my hand because she didn't know. We hugged to say goodbye. I love you Meredith." Derek rambled on…

Meredith looked at Derek, his perfect hair, and perfect lips. He kissed him, with such passion and conviction.

"I'm sorry…" Meredith whispered after they broke for air.

"Don't apologize. I know I hurt you Meredith. You have the right to be concerned. Youwerevulnerable, uncertain and I'm sorry I caused that. I'm so sorry I hurt you.But I do love you; I've never stopped loving you. I hope you know that." Derek held her hands and lifted her up so they were standing.

"I know. I love you too." Meredith rested her head on his chest; breathing in his scent; clinging onto his body.

Derek traced little circles around her back and kissed her forehead lightly.

"Let's get out of here." he announced after they spent a while in the comfort of each other's arms.

"Um… okay." Meredith replied, slightly confused. "Where are we going to go?" She asked.

"I'll surprise you" Derek replied with a cheeky grin.

Meredith looked up at Derek with a weak smile.

"I love you Meredith" he said cupping her face.

"Do you know how long I've waited to hear that?" She smiled at him, with one arm stroking his.

He kissed her. She forgot how it felt like, amazing, like a fireworks display was happening.

"Let's go" said Derek.

* * *

**A/N:** Another chapter, I think this one is pretty long too. Might be another one tonight if I feel like writing. Happy reading! Hope you like it. Please review! 


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"Derek, where are you taking me." Meredith moaned. She didn't like surprises and frankly the car ride was making her slightly nauseated.

"Hold on Mer, we're almost there." replied Derek with a cheeky grin. He gently rubbed Meredith's thigh.

Meredith sighed, resting her hand gently on top of his. "Okay" she mumbled. She rested her head against the window and closed her eyes with a small smile on her face. She was tired from all the days dramatic events, but she was happy to be with Derek and finally able to say that he was hers.

"Meredith…" Derek gently stroked the side of her face.

"Oh, are we there?" asked Meredith as she jolted up into a sitting position.

"Yeah, we're here, come on." Derek had that same cheeky grin.

_Oh, I'm nervous_ thought Meredith as she stepped out of the car.

They were in front of a fancy hotel. The lights of the city flickered at them like fireflies.

Derek held his hand out to Meredith. She stared at his hand. She was still slightly confused about why he bought her to a hotel. Did he just want to sleep with her?

"Derek, did you just bring me here because you wanted to sleep with me?" Meredith asked, a little anxious, in case she was wrong.

"What? Meredith!" Derek looked a little shocked. "Well… I mean yeah… I want to sleep with you…" Derek started, and chuckled at the horrified look on Meredith's face. "But that's not why I bought you here. Let's go" He held out his hand towards her again,

"Alright Derek… I hope you know what you're doing and it better be good. You have a lot of sucking up to do. It's going to take me a while to trust you again." Meredith said taking his hand.

They walked hand in hand into the big, shiny doors of the hotel. Derek led Meredith to the elevator. He looked at her with a mischievous grin plastered on his face. He pulled her in the elevator and the doors swung shut before she had a chance to think what was happening.

"Too late to take the stairs now" He whispered in her ear, inching closer to her; one hand resting gently on her hip.

Meredith giggled. "I guess so" she replied and pushed Derek against the wall, kissing him hard. She suddenly pushed him away.

"I'm sorry." she mumbled, looking obviously flustered. She looked into his eyes and saw a hint of confusion. "It's just a bit too soon." she said looking down at the ground.

"It's okay Mer. whenever you're ready." Derek snaked his arm around her waist and smiled at her. She smiled back, pushing her weight against his side and sighing softly. He lightly kissed the top of her head and they silently waited for the elevator doors to ping open.

"This way" Derek led Meredith down the corridor to what looked like the penthouse suite of the hotel.

"Derek…" Meredith started to talk, thinking about what she said before; about Derek bringing her to the hotel just to have sex.

Derek opened the door to reveal a huge room and sounds of smooth jazz. Meredith gasped. It was beautiful. The room itself was already wonderful. What made is special was what Derek had done. The room was full of vanilla scented candles, leaving a small path of rose petals. The path led to a circle with a mat; outlined by candles and littered with petals. A chilled bottle of champagne sat near the edge of the circle, surrounded by a huge platter of food.

"Oh Derek…" Meredith was speechless. She touched her face and realised it was wet. She was crying.

Derek noticed her tears. "Hey… Mer… hey... Why are you crying? Don't you like this?" Derek asked his face etched with concern.

"Oh no… it's so beautiful. I… I'm… I'm just speechless. I'm crying because it's so beautiful." she answered.

"As long as you're okay…" Meredith nodded and reassured him with a kiss.

"This food looks great. Let's eat." she said, leading him onto the mat.

They sat there talking about everything and feeding each other food. It was getting late. Although neither had work the next day, Meredith was tired from everything that had happened, not just at work today. She was tired from missing Derek, but finally they were together. Meredith moved to rest her head of Derek's lap. She tried to suppress a yawn, which didn't go unnoticed by Derek.

"You tired Mer?" Derek asked, stroking her hair softly. "I can drive you home if you want…"

"Oh no, I can't ask you to do that. You've had too much champagne and I mean, we have a room…" Derek didn't really drink that much, she was just making an excuse. She didn't want the night to end yet.

"Are you sure you're okay with this Meredith?" Derek asked, hoping she was sure.

"Absolutely, I just want you to hold me."

Derek nodded and continued to stroke her hair. He bent over and lightly kissed her forehead. She tilted her forehead and caught his lips with hers.

"We should get to bed" she announced, really feeling tired especially from the champagne she drunk. Meredith moved to tidy up.

"Let me get that. You go have a bath." Derek started to clean up and shooed Meredith to the bathroom.

"Are you sure, I don't mind helping. After all this…"

Derek silenced her with a kiss. "I'm positive. Now you go."

Meredith smiled and turned on the taps. She slid out of her clothes and into the warm water. She sighed, and sunk into the bubbles with sounds of jazz floating in her head and memories of their perfect night.

"Meredith" She heard a soft knock at her bathroom door.

"Oh yeah, come in." Fully surrounded by bubbles, she thought it was alright to let him in. _Not like he hasn't seen me naked anyway_ she thought.

He walked in with a glass of wine and handed it to her. She smiled and sipped it slowly.

"Hey I'm just going to go to grab a few things. Do you need anything while I'm out?" he asked.

"Um… if you don't mind… can you go back to my place and grab some clothes for me… I feel kinda gross in those." She pointed at the pile of clothes on the floor and giggled.

"Yeah sure, keys are in the pockets I'm guessing?" he asked picking up her pants.

"Thanks Derek. My comfy clothes on my bed will be great, oh and some underwear…" she mumbled the last part looking a little embarrassed. _Hey if he's going to be my boyfriend, then he should do these things too!_ she blushed when she thought of Derek as her **_boyfriend_**. "Oh and Derek…"

"mmm?" he said turning around and leaning down towards her eye level.

"Thanks for tonight, it was special. And thanks for taking it slow." she kissed him long, slow and full of passion.

"Anytime; and I'll do anything for you. I'll be back soon. Don't move a muscle." he kissed her forehead and moved out the door.

"Okay, hurry back and drive safe." She yelled after and slinked lower into the bubbles.

_I hope this stays this way_ she thought, letting the water wash away her worries.

**

* * *

**

**A/N:** This feels like it should be the end of the fic. But I don't what it to end… do you guys want it to end? I have a few idea's left still… but if you guys are cool with it finishing like this… Sorry for the typos! Sorry I was going to write a bit more, but it's like 2am!

**Anders122**- Nicole! I'm glad you like it! We should write a fic sometime… But you will want to write Sarkney and I'm a SydVaughn fan (Is there a nickname for them? Or is that it? I can't remember)

**shoppingal87**- Yay MerDer! There seems to be a growing number of Addek fics lately…

**Nati girl**- Aw, that must suck not having it on TV. What ep did you guys get up to? Dvd of season one is coming out on May 11th here. I can't wait!

**Heather0120, SBandJasonSamfan, Meredith and Derek, PatEllen**- Thank you! I hope you liked this chapter!

**luv24+Alias**- Sorry, I didn't post another chapter last night. I got a little side-tracked a tired. But I hope you liked this chapter and I'll try to write some more asap!


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Derek walked towards his car humming a tune. This evening was great. Perfect; he loved to spend time with Meredith. She just made everything easier; all his problems disappeared.

He heard his phone ring and vibrate. Keeping is eyes on the road he answered it, thinking it was Meredith.

"Meredith, I'm heading to your house soon and don't worry I will pick some underwear that's a little more… discrete." He chuckled

"Derek…"

"Oh Addison?" he asked with a puzzled look on his face.

"Yeah, did I get you at a bad time?" she asked sniffing back some tears.

"Um… yeah… kind of… but what's up? You alright?" Derek still had some feelings for her; he cared about her. They were married for 11 years and he was concerned because Addison sounded drunk.

"I'm alright…" she sighed "I miss you Derek." She whispered.

"Addison. You know we're not meant to be. You have a place in my heart Addie, but we fell out of love a long time ago." He shook his head lightly. He just wanted to get out of this conversation. "I love Meredith" he added softly.

"I know, I just want to be with you; one last time. Please Derek" she pleaded, she sounded so desperate.

"That's not a good idea Addie. You know that… and I have to go." Derek said pulling up to Meredith's house.

Addison sighed. "Alright, I'll see you at work then..." she asked

"Yeah... Take care Addie" Derek snapped his phone shut and rubbed his temples trying to push away the forming headache.

* * *

He walked up on the porch of Meredith's house. He figured although he had a key, he should knock; be polite. He felt anxious; he was going into his girlfriend's house. _Can I call Meredith my **girlfriend** yet?_ he pondered just as the door swung open to show Izzie with a surprised look on her face. 

"Dr. Shepherd!" she said with equal shock in her voice. "Um… Meredith isn't here at the moment…"

"Yes, I know. I took her out for dinner." he thought he'd better not reveal where they really were; thinking they probably wouldn't approve. "I've just come to pick up a few things for Meredith, is that alright?"

"Oh that's fine, you know the way to her room…" she gestured for Derek to come in.

"Thank you. Yes I know the way. When we're not in the hospital its okay to call me Derek you know" he said with a grin.

"Ok… Derek…" Izzie replied her cheeks turning a little pink. "Is Meredith okay…?" She asked Derek as he headed up the stairs.

"Yeah, I think she's okay. I mean, I know I hurt her a lot and just tonight isn't going to fix that. But I really do love her. I was just trying to push my feelings for her away; try and make it work with Addison…" He chuckled and shook his head. "I shouldn't be telling you this, I'm sorry…"

"No, no, it's fine. I understand." Izzie smiled at him, urging him to continue.

"I thought I owed it to Addison, myself, our marriage; but it was turning me into a unhappy, pessimistic person. I hated to get up in the morning; I didn't want to do anything. I didn't like what I was becoming. I love Meredith. I love her more than words can describe. She's an incredible person." He looked at Izzie. His eyes had tears in them. "huh" he chuckled wiping them away.

"Wow, Dr Shepherd… Derek… I knew you loved her. _Everyone_ knew you loved her; I think even Addison did. But I didn't know you felt that way about her… She loves you as well. She loves you a lot. "

"Hmm… yeah…" He replied thinking about Meredith; her smile pierced his skin and made him melt inside and her laugh brightened up the room like a jet of sunshine coming out of the clouds on a dark day. "I'm going to grab some stuff now…" he pointed towards Meredith's room, inching his way there.

"Oh yeah, go on… tell her I said hi…" Izzie said, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear.

"Will do, thanks Izzie." Izzie smiled and walked into the lounge.

* * *

Derek took the stairs two at a time and opened the door to Meredith's room. It was just how he remembered it. It was soaking in Meredith. Everything about her room just screamed Meredith. The bed, unmade, yet tidy; her clothes lied strewn on her floor. Derek grabbed the clothes on her bed. He laughed, and the top. It was her Dartmouth top; her favourite. He made his way over to her dresser and opened them up searching for her lingerie draw. 

"Bingo" he mumbled when he finally found the draw. He picked up the first thing he saw; a black, lacy G-string. _I don't think Meredith will be very happy if I brought this back_ he thought, chuckling to himself. Derek chose a few items, chucking them in a bag along with her "comfy clothes" and closed the draw.

Derek turned around to look at Meredith's room one last time before he headed down the stairs. He couldn't wait to be around her again.

"Dr Shepherd…" George called after him just as he was about to go down the stairs.

"George, please call me Derek."

"Oh okay, Derek… are you back together with Meredith?" George mumbled looking down at the floor.

"Yeah, I guess we are…" Derek looked at him and smiled. "I guess we are…"

"Look after her okay? She's really special and I don't want her to get hurt again."  
Derek nodded. George really cared about Meredith. "Or I might have to kick you're butt." George added, his face turning red.

Derek laughed and patted George's back. They nodded at each other, a manly nod to show they understood each other.

"See you later George." Derek said walking down the stairs.

* * *

**A/N:** Hey guys! Thank you for reviewing! And because of you guys, I have decided that it's not going to end just yet! This chapter would've been up sooner… but I couldn't get into the user page thingy... This is bad for me though… I have a physics test when I go back to school and I haven't revised yet! That's only the tip of the iceberg a.k.a my homework! Plus my annual report for the Board of Trustees of the school… yay… Well anyways… I hope you liked the chapter! Please review! Makes me feel good when I read it! 

**Lisejane-** Thank you, I'm glad you liked the Furniture shopping bit. I thought I was the only one who thought that was funny :P. Not ending yet… I have stuff planned…

**ilajkajas2215-** Addison sort of does something crazy in this chapter. I was thinking about getting Derek to go over and sleep with her and then of course Meredith will be angry… but then that would delay the part that I want to write next… and Derek already announced his love for Meredith and only just started earning her trust back, so I thought it might be a bit too overboard :)

**Nati girl-** Ahhhh with the pregnant man… That ep was cool, well every ep is cool :) 12 day's til it comes out here! I'm so excited. Makes sense that you guys had it out now, seeing as we get what you get basically.

**shoppingal87-** Meredith and Derek are sooo meant to be! But it's a universal theme really. If they were together, there wouldn't be so much to talk about and viewers might tune out… I'm really biased though. No matter how good the fic is if it's an Addek I don't like it as much.

Meredith and Derek- I am a little crazy! But it's not going to end yet.. yay! lol

**SBandJasonSamfan/ Brandy-** I have a few ideas and something big and kinda clichéd planned :P.

**AlotLikeMeredith, PatEllen, Heather0120-** Thank you very much! I really appreciate you guys reviewing :) I hope you liked this chapter.

Wow, that was a long Author's note :). Writing chapter 9 as we speak/I write...:)


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Meredith lay back in the bath which was becoming lukewarm and rapidly cooler by the minute.

"Derek… where are you?" she mumbled. _I'm not getting back into those clothes._ she thought. In that minute, she had an epiphany. She loved Derek. Simple as that. She **loved **Derek. Before she loved him, but now she was in love with him. This night was the turning point in their relationship. She giggled and decided to go have a shower considering she was getting a bit cold from the lukewarm bath.

She had just turned of the water and the jets of hot water felt good on her skin when she heard a knock on the door.

"Derek, is that you?" she asked poking her head out of the shower to hear properly.

"Yeah, I have your clothes… Can I come in?" he asked

"mmmhmmm" replied Meredith moving back in the shower letting the water splash on her face.

Derek stepped in the steamy bathroom and put her clothes on the chair by the door.

"They're just on the chair Meredith."

Meredith poked her head out of the shower door. "Thanks Derek, you're an angel" she laughed.

Derek couldn't help but notice how beautiful she looked with specks on water cascading off her face. He smiled and moved in to kiss her. The kiss deepened and they broke apart just to get some air,

Meredith planted kisses along his jaw line up towards his ear and whispered seductively;"You wanna join me Derek."

She continued to kiss his neck and Derek's clothes were getting wet from the shower.

"You sure…" he murmured, hoping she was sure.

"Yeah… hurry up McDreamy"

Meredith stepped out of the shower and peeled off Derek's clothes.

* * *

Derek woke up bright and early to watch Meredith sleep. She looked so beautiful and peaceful. He didn't want to move from where he was laying. He lightly kissed her forehead and she stirred, swatted her hand madly in the air and continued sleeping. _She must be really tired _thought Derek. Derek gently moved out of bed to make some breakfast, careful not to wake her.

"Derek? Where are you going?" she said, her voice full of sleep.

"Good Morning. Sorry I woke you. I was just going to make some breakfast." he said leaning over to kiss her cheek.

Meredith turned around and rubbed her eyes.

"Come back and cuddle me instead. You're not that hungry yet are you?" she asked her bottom lip pouting slightly.

Derek laughed and slipped back into the bed. "Now how could I resist that face" he said moving in to hug her.

Meredith laughed and her face lit up. "You're so beautiful Mer…" He whispered kissing her neck gently.

"If I'm not mistake, I think you're trying to seduce me Dr. Shepherd" She giggled, playfully swatting him away.

"Mmmmhmmm maybe Dr. Grey… It's working isn't it?"

"Dr. Shepherd! I have more self-control than you know!" Meredith feigned shock on her face.

"That's not what you said last night…" Derek said with a cheeky grin on his face.

"Now I've had enough of cuddling, where's my breakfast?" Meredith playfully pushed him away, playing hard to get.

"Okay… get dressed, we're going to go out for breakfast" He announced pulling her out of bed.

* * *

**A/N**: Sorry about the short entry. I'm back at school and BUSY as ever! Had the recap episode tonight. It was great! Lots of MerDer action at the start :P Can't wait until the DVD in 10 Days! Hope you liked the chapter! Please review!

**Nati girl**- Hey! I read you're fic a while ago... and still reading it :) It's good :) Hope you liked this chapter.

**luv24+Alias**- You sound like me and my love for Grey's Anatomy :P

**SBandJasonSamfan**- tehehe, I didn't like writing the Addie stuff either, hopefully you liked the MerDer fluff in this chapter :P Hopefully I'll have time to write my big idea... which is pretty clichéd.

**AlotLikeMeredith**- I wasn't sure if it was just me... or everyone... My friend couldn't get on either.

**Meredith and Derek**- George is cute... but I like Derek more :P

**chaty1- **shucks... you're making me blush! Thank you!

**ilajkajas2215**- I was considering it... it would've been a good shock! But I think it turned out okay...

**Heather0120- **it would be adorable. But I don't think that Derek would become friends like Meredith is to them...? You know? It's sort of like Burke... They're the intern's bosses. They could be friends but just not CLOSE CLOSE friends. Plus poor George :(

Hope you guys liked this chapter. Please review! I'll try my best to update asap!


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"Hey, so what do you want to do today?" asked Meredith as they sat on a bench watching ferry boats and eating doughnuts.

"Well I was going to get us proper breakfast… but you wanted doughnuts… so I think I'll let you make all the decisions!"

"Well you know I have excellent taste and doughnuts were a great option after out great night!"

"I know you have great taste… you're still with me" he smiled at her and put his hand on her thigh.

"Yeah, well you're the exception. I don't know why I'm still with you…" she grinned playfully and put her hand on top of his.

"Mmm, well let me remind you…" Derek moved in to kiss her.

They finally broke for air and Meredith licked her lips.

"Yeah… that might be why…" She laughed and stood up holding her hand out to Derek.

"Where are we going?" He asked.

"I don't know… lets just walk" she answered with a smile on her face.

He lightly shook his head and chuckled. Derek took Meredith's hand and bought it up to his lips and softly kissed her knuckles.

"You know I love you Mer?" Derek asked looking into Meredith's eyes.

"I know Derek." Meredith put an arm around his waist and hugged him side on.

Derek wondered why she didn't say she loved him back.

They walked along the harbour together in silence, arms around each other's waist.

Meredith suddenly broke away and stared intently into Derek's eyes, her brow folded into a crease.

"I do Derek" She said looking at Derek's feet. "I just can't say it…"

Derek lifted her chin and looked into her eyes.

"It's okay Mer…" Derek looked sincerely into her eyes and kissed her forehead.

Meredith nodded and squeezed his hand tightly and they continued to walk along the harbour.

"I'm scared…" She whispered her voice laced with fear.

Derek turned around and looked at her. She had tears in her eyes and was staring out into the ocean. He felt so guilty. She was afraid to love him because of what he had done. He moved in and hugged her shoulders gently. She flinched and moved slightly.

"I'm sorry Mer…" His eyes started to fill with tears and he kissed her head lightly.

Meredith sighed and closed her eyes and let the tears fall slightly down her eyes.

She wiped her eyes and smiled.

"You know what?" She asked Derek smiling weakly

"Yeah?" He questioned still hugging her shoulders, head resting in the crook of her neck watching the ocean.

Meredith turned and kissed his cheek.

"I love you" she whispered in his ear and closed her eyes, resting her head on his.

Derek smiled to himself. It had taken a lot of courage for her to say that.

"I love you Mer, I always have and I always will." He whispered back, hugging her tighter.

"Let's go home." she said grabbing his hand and squeezing it tightly.

Derek nodded and they began walking home.

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry about the short chapter and the wait! It's been really hectic, busy and having problems- have to see the counsellor and stuff... I'm writing more as we speak and I think it's better. I'll try to update soon, but I have lots of assessment's I'm trying to get ready for... Darn Hamlet... 

Next ep airing on TV is a double ep of the bomb one... it should be awesome. I heard and saw clips about the season finale... It sounds sooo good... and shocking!

Just watched Sweet Home Alabama on DVD... sexy Patrick Dempsey :P

Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I had personalised replies to them all... but something weird happened to my computer and they disappeared and it's like 12am now and I have been sick :( so I'm sorry I don't have much time to write more because I'm very sleepy! But special thanks to:

**Carolynmiz **

**SonnyCarlyJasonCourtney **

**orangeangel **

**luv24+Alias **

**Nati girl **

**Lisejane **

**Heather0120 **

**Meredith and Derek **

**PatEllen **

**JackandSueFan **

**MeredithandDerekfanforever **

**chaty1 **

Thank you to the new readers who like my fic and to my loyal readers :) I have some VERY VERY cliched stuff planned, but I think it will be cute :)

Please review! (I think the A/N was longer than the actually chapter!)


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Meredith groaned as the piercing shrill of the alarm woke her up.

"Derek…" she croaked out, her eyes reluctant to open and her hands searching around to shake him.

"Good morning, how did you sleep?" he asked cheerfully from the doorway of her bathroom, with a toothbrush in one hand.

"How can you be so chirpy this early in the morning?" she asked rubbing her eyes.

"I had a great sleep, lying next to you…" he replied walking back into the bathroom.

"Whatever" She groaned.

Meredith rolled out of bed and padded her way into the bathroom. She sat on the closed lid of the toilet and watched Derek get ready for work.

"Why are you watching me?" Derek asked in the middle of shaving.

Meredith smiled and walked behind him and planted a row of kisses on the back of his neck.

"I'm going to have a shower…" she replied with a sly look on her face.

She began to take off her clothes leaving a trail behind her. Derek looked at her, eyes almost popping out of his head. Meredith turned on the water and poked her head out of the shower.

"You can join me if you want…" Meredith said seductively

Derek gulped. "Are you sure…" he asked cautiously, he didn't know if she was really ready for this after yesterday.

"Yeah, I'm positive. Hurry up before I change my mind" she answered.

Derek laughed and stepped into the shower after quickly stripping.

"I guess we're okay now?" he whispered in her ear.

"Yeah, we are…" she smiled.

* * *

"Meredith, are you ready?" Derek yelled up the stairs, rushing to gather his things together.

_We shouldn't have taken that shower…_ Derek thought with a cheeky grin on his face.

Meredith bounded down the stairs and grabbed the piece of toast out of Derek's mouth.

"Let's go" she mumbled, her mouth full of jam on toast.

"Alrighty then…" Derek said with a sigh. "Let's go"

* * *

As Meredith got out of the car in the hospital car park she wondered how everyone was going to react. She wondered if it was okay for them to be going to work together. She nibbled her bottom lip and pretended to fix her hair in the rear view mirror.

"Oh you go ahead…" Meredith said avoiding eye contact.

"Meredith, don't worry what they…" gesturing to the hospital "think, just remember I love you okay?"

_He knows me so well…_ thought Meredith

Derek walked around to Meredith's door and opened it up for her.

"What a perfect gentleman…" said Meredith with a coy smile on her face.

"My pleasure…" murmured Derek and kissed Meredith

Derek held out his hand to Meredith. She took it and they walked into the hospital together.

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay! Been a HECTIC term, now it's the holidays so hopefully I'll write a little more. But I have TONNES of homework... courtesy of my beloved teachers...

Hope you liked this chapter, sorry it's short and not very good! I'm kinda tired from an after-party for a production last night!

**Heather0120**- Thanks! I'm feeling like it's getting a bit repetitive so I'm going to try jazz it up a bit next chapter... TRY

**TVHollywoodDiva**- Thanks!

**Carolynmiz**- Thank you, they're quite short chapters sorry! They seem longer on word... LOL. I haven't seen that many movies with Patrick Dempsey, just Sweet Home Alabama. There's one part in the movie where he bugs me...

**chaty1- **Sorry, I kinda disappeared off the planet for a bit, but I'm trying to update! Thanks for the review

**AlotLikeMeredith- **Thanks for the review. I didn't want her to be too comfortable because she remembers the pain that he caused but I think she's being to trust him again.

**Meredith and Derek**-Cute stuff probably next chapter... but it's going to be SOOO corny you're probably going to roll your eyes when you read it!

**MeredithandDerekfanforever**- Thanks for the review, I'm glad you're liking the story. Hopefully I'll get more writing done now its the holidays!

**luv24+Alias**- I'll try try try! Sorry for taking ages! Thanks for reviewing!

I'll try update again soon :-) Review!


	12. Chapter 12

Just a foreword- George and Meredith never slept together in my story :)

**Chapter 12**

Meredith darted into the locker room and quickly changed into her scrubs, flicking her hair into a ponytail in the process.

"Hey Meredith" said George as he walked in.

"Oh George, how's it all going?" Meredith asked putting her things into her locker.

"Yeah, not bad… did you maybe wanna catch up? Go for a drink sometime… maybe…?" asked George shyly. He knew that he didn't have a chance with her anymore, but thought that they could still be close friends.

Meredith smiled. After all this business with Derek and the glares she was getting from the nurses, she needed a friend.

"Yeah George, that would be nice."

"Okay then…" replied George with a grin on his face. "I better get out there… Bailey's gonna go nuts…"

Meredith smiled and followed George out of the locker room.

* * *

"Hey… I bought you a coffee" Derek sneaked beside Meredith holding a hot cup of coffee. 

Meredith snapped the file shut and smiled at Derek.

"Thanks… I really needed it."

"Is everything alright Mer?" asked Derek with that concerned McDreamy look that just made Meredith melt.

"I'm okay. I'm just worried about my patient. Chances are she's not going to make it through the night." Meredith answered running her hand through her hair. She sighed and looked into his eyes.

"It's always tough when a patient dies. We should go out tonight, get your mind off things?" said Derek rubbing her cheek with his thumb.

"Yeah that would be nice… oh sorry, I remembered I said I'd have a drink at Joe's with George. Sorry… I'll come by afterwards?" she replied apologetically.

"Sure, have fun tonight." Derek's pager went off.

"You better get that." Meredith said, that was life as a doctor; always being interrupted. Patients come first.

Derek gave Meredith a quick kiss and squeezed her hand lightly.

Meredith watched him walk away. He was her McDreamy. Sometimes she had to pinch herself to see if she was actually dreaming. But she loved him no matter what, and it had hurt her before.

* * *

"Hey George" Meredith saw him sitting at the bar, drinking a beer. 

"Meredith, how was your day? Can I get you a drink?" George asked

"Just a beer would be great thanks. My day was okay. I mean my patient died… but that's just something we have to face with I guess. Being doctors, surgeons…"

"Yeah… that sucks…" George said glumly, thinking about patients dying always made him sad, as it would anyone.

"But no more shop talk…" Meredith said with a grin "How is everything with you, it seems like I haven't talked to you in ages. Sorry… patching things up with Derek is pretty messy… "

"No… everything is good…" George replied. "You know if he ever hurts you, I'll kick his ass…"

Meredith laughed. "That's George, it's nice to know you've got my back, but I can look after myself."

"You know just in case… I care about you, you know?" George blushed and stared at his mug of beer.

"I know George; I care about you too…" Meredith smiled and put her hand over his. "Hey sorry, I got to run. I told Derek I would meet him later. Take care George, we should all get together sometime as well yeah?"

"Definitely" George said with a polite smile.

"I'll see you around" Meredith gave George a peck on the cheek and left the bar.

George stared solemnly after her. He loved her and he hated too see her with another man, but he knew that he would never love him the same way he loved her.

* * *

Meredith drove up to the huge property that Derek owned. She couldn't believe he owned all that, it was amazing. She saw Derek on the porch, drinking a beer with a blanket wrapped around him. 

"Hey" she said grabbing his beer and taking a swig.

"Hey yourself" Derek grinned and took another beer out of the cooler.

"What are you doing out here?" She asked, taking a corner of the blanket and wrapping herself around it.

"Oh nothing. Just thinking, and waiting for you." Derek wrapped his arm around her.

"Is everything okay?" Meredith asked resting her head on his arm.

"Yeah, everything is good, great… I want to show you something, wait here"

Derek jumped up and ran into the trailer. Moments later he came out with huge sheets of paper.

"What's that?" Meredith asked, stealing the entire blanket now.

"It's my house. Our house"

"Our house?" Meredith asked, shuffling in her seat.

"Yeah, I was hoping maybe… you wanted to move in with me when it's finished. I mean I know you have you're mum's house, but you know maybe you could let George and Izzie stay and rent out you're room…"

"Shhh" Meredith put her finger over his lips.

"You're rambling again" she whispered, cheekily.

She gave Derek a long passionate kiss.

"I'd take that as a yes?" Derek smiled stroking her hair.

"Yes, but do you think it's a bit soon?" Meredith asked cautiously

"I thought that too, but I love you… I love you so much and the house is going to take a while to build…" Derek raised his eyebrows, thinking about how long it was going to take- at least a year.

Meredith laughed. "Of course… now let's go inside before I freeze to death."

Derek picked her up and carried her inside.

"Derek! Stop it!" Meredith screamed, laughing hysterically.

* * *

**A/N: **I updated sooner! I probably would've sooner but I went shopping... I spentover $100... not so great consideringI don't have a job! But it was a nice wrap-around dress :PIt's still a bit of the "same stuff" really sorry, and I'm telling you it's a very corny story... But I love corny stories :) 

I think I'll write like a double date for Cristina, Burke and Meredith, Derek... Maybe? Not sure yet... Probably not straight away, I have plans for the next chapter :)

Oh gosh, I'm watching the ep where we find out that Webber is actually a recovering alcoholic and Ellis drove him to his worse times… So sad… makes me want to cry! Juju... that's weird too...

**tydavislover- **Thank you! I'm very flattered :) Hopefully my english teacher thinks so when she reads my creative writing piece... which was pretty bad actually!

**WiiCkeDhUnNy1104**- Thanks! I'm glad you're liking it! I love corny, MerDer stuff :P

**MeredithandDerekfanforever**- I hope you liked this chapter too! I'm sorry, they're quite repetitive.

**chaty1**- Next chapter! I hope to have the next one soon. Thank you for reviewing!

**kml57**- Cute things make me smile :P Thanks for the review!

**McDreamysIntern**- Too much Addek stuff going round I think, we need more MerDer stories! I loved season 1, because Meredith and Derek more or less could openly express their love for one another whereas now there's Addison... I'm happy that you like the story! Thanks for the awesome review!

**shoppingal87- **Some George in this chapter :) But still cute MerDer no? Thanks for reviewing :)

Thanks to everyone who reviewed and read the story! Please review again or start to review!


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Meredith woke up to slightly unfamiliar surroundings. It wasn't often that she stayed the night at Derek's; he usually stayed at her place. She reluctantly sat up in the bed, the sheets wrapped around her chest. She heard a muffled ring from her jean pocket, which had been tossed carelessly on the ground the night before. Meredith wiggled out of the bed, sheets still firmly around her and scrambled around trying to find her jeans.

"A ha!" She exclaimed, finally finding it.

_Cristina Calling _her phone said. Meredith smiled thinking it would be some funny problem she had with Burke.

"Hey Cristina, what's up?" Meredith asked

"Took long enough!" Cristina replied nearly deafening Meredith

"Sorry, couldn't find my phone."

"Well, whatever… Listen… Burke wants to…"

Meredith grinned, she had been right. It was a Burke problem.

"Yeah Burke wants to have dinner… with you and McDreamy…" Cristina said with an amused tone.

"Oh yeah sure… you wanna come round to my place and we can cook for them?" Meredith asked, thinking it would be a sweet idea.

"Me? Cook? Are you serious?" Cristina retorted obviously thinking Meredith was deluded.

"Yeah, I'm serious. They'll appreciate it and I'm sure Burke will love it…" Meredith felt Derek's hands sneak up around her waist, she turned around and smiled.

"Fine, whatever… But you know I can't cook."

"You can make the salad or something… "Meredith snickered thinking about Cristina cooking.

"Okay, I better tell Burke. You free tonight? Better get it over and done with" Cristina questioned in a hurry.

"Let me check with Derek…" Meredith put her phone on hold and turned around to ask Derek.

"Check what with me?" he asked with a hint of lust in his eyes.

"I know what you want Derek.." Meredith replied playfully.

"Yeah what's that?" he started to pull at Meredith's sheets.

"Well… are you free tonight?" She flirtatiously asked

"Maybe… what did you have in mind?" Derek eyed her up and down

"Are you free tonight?" Meredith asked again, this time more forcefully.

"Sure… I'm free..." Derek answered wanting Meredith to hurry up and tell him what was going on.

"Good we're having dinner with Cristina and Burke" Meredith laughed and shuffled away into his tiny kitchen.

"Cristina, you there?" Meredith smiled into the phone; she loved to tease Derek,

"Took your sweet time, god what were you doing? Second thought, I don't want to know… anyway tonight alright?"

"Yep tonight's fine… My place. Come round at 5; bring wine I've got the rest. Tell Burke to come round at 7:30" Meredith said while writing the details on a piece of paper near by.

"Thanks Meredith, I owe you one. See you tonight" Cristina replied gratefully and hung up.

Meredith snapped her phone shut and shuffled her way back into the room. Derek was getting ready for work, half dressed and putting things into his briefcase.

"What was that?" he asked obviously a little peeved at the little game Meredith played.

"Cristina and I are going to cook you and Burke dinner tonight." Meredith said boldly.

"Since when do you cook?" Derek asked with an amused look.

"Excuse me but I can cook… sorta… Well you will just have to wait and see" Meredith said defensively, pouting.

"Anyway, I have the day off…" Meredith began to walk up to Derek, she placed and hand on his chest. "And you have surgery soon." She lightly kissed his lips. "So you better go..." She murmured in between kisses.

"I've got an hour…" Derek replied breathlessly.

"No, you have to go and I'm going to go grocery shopping" Meredith pulled back and started to put on her clothes. "Where is my bra…?" She mumbled.

"Are you looking for this?" Derek was holding her black bra looking entertained.

"Thank-you" Meredith said snatching the bra from him.

"You know you've done it to me twice this morning?" he said after watching her get dressed.

"Did what?" she asked her hair draped over her forehead as she tied up her shoes.

"Lead me on… you know you better make it up to me tonight…" Derek grinned and started to leave the trailer.

"Well that just depends how you behave tonight… 7:30. Don't be late." Meredith lightly smacked his ass and ran out of the trailer before he had a chance to reply.

* * *

Meredith walked into the local supermarket having no real clue about what she was going to get. 

_Spaghetti Bolognaise _she thought. _That's not too hard to make…_

Meredith paced through the aisles looking for all the ingredients. Pondering what type of pasta to buy she was faced with some jerk checking her out.

"Hey, do you need a hand there?" he asked with a sleazy grin

"No I'm fine thanks." Meredith replied walking away.

"Don't walk away from me, slut, you're going to regret that." he shouted after her.

Meredith quickly grabbed out her phone and dialled Derek's cell phone number.

"Meredith?" Derek asked

Meredith was close to tears, she had just had a huge shock and was scared that the lunatic might do more.

"Yeah, Derek, are you free?" Meredith sobbed down the phone, failing to keep the tears from falling.

"Yeah, I just finished my surgery, are you okay? Where are you?" Derek anxiously asked Meredith, hoping she was okay.

"Um… I'm at the supermarket, I just had some guy, some jerk… Can you come here? I don't feel very safe right now. I need you…" Meredith hated how she sounded. She sounded so weak, but she needed him. After all she had been through the past few weeks; she wanted Derek to hold her.

"I'll be right there. You at the supermarket near the hospital?" Derek asked running to his car.

"Yeah, I'm just waiting by the counters, just around people."

"Okay, see you soon" Derek snapped his phone shut and ran to his car. Driving at a dangerous speed, he arrived at the supermarket.

Derek frantically looked around for Meredith, and found her holding a few bags of groceries looking bewildered.

"Meredith, are you okay" he enveloped her in a massive hug, stroking her hair.

She felt so much safer.

"Yeah I'm okay, the guy just said that I was a slut and I was going to regret rejecting him… I was just a bit scared. I'm sorry for calling you…" she looked down at the ground feeling embarrassed.

"Meredith, look at me" Derek said forcefully

Meredith reluctantly looked into his eyes, his comforting look making everything seem so much better.

"You don't need to apologise, that guy was a jerk and I'm sorry I wasn't here for you so you didn't have to face it. But I'm always going to be here for you." Derek kissed her forehead. "Come on, let's get out of here, I'll call the chief on the way home. Tell him I'm going to spend the day with you, and before you object…" Meredith had begun to tell him she was okay…

"I want to spend the day with you, I don't have any more surgeries for today, just some paperwork I can do later. Maybe we should call the dinner off? And I'll get someone to get your car" Derek guided Meredith to her car.

"No, no I promised Cristina. I'm fine really. I just had a shock." Meredith started to get into the driver's seat of her car.

"Meredith, I'm taking you home. I'll get someone to get your car and if you insist on this dinner. I'll help you. It can be our cooking and Cristina and Burke can get you're car before they come instead okay?" Derek asked picking Meredith out of the driver's seat.

"Derek!" Meredith squealed. "Okay, okay… Thanks"

"Anytime Mer… Now I'll call Burke and let him know…" Derek snapped open his phone and dialled some numbers.

Meredith felt so lucky to have Derek. She lent back into the passenger seat and breathed a sigh of relief, she felt so much safer. She sneaked a peek at Derek talking into his phone and out beyond the distance Meredith saw the jerk.

"Derek!" Meredith shouted "That's him" she yelled pointing in his direction.

"Where's the bastard? I'll tell him a few things or two…" Derek rolled up his sleeves and began to walk towards the jerk.

The jerk ran, bolted the scene, obviously frightened of conflict.

"Yeah that's right and I better not see you around harassing anyone again." yelled Derek after him.

Meredith just watched Derek, just thankful he was hers and thankful that he was willing to do anything for her.

"Now that's sorted. Burke's okay with the plan and he hopes you are okay" Derek sat in the drivers seat and lent over to kiss Meredith.

Meredith thanked Derek in a passionate kiss.

"Thanks." Meredith replied after they had broken apart.

"For the kiss..?" Derek asked playfully.

"Yes that… and for coming to get me… I no it was pretty stupid…" Meredith began rambling on.

"Stop rambling Meredith, it wasn't stupid. Some people have no respect for others" Derek smiled and rested one hand on Meredith's and started the car.

"Now, we can go back to your place and start this meal we promised Burke and Cristina" Derek said grinning at Meredith.

"Okay, let's go" Meredith replied, still a little frightened, but feeling happier for what Derek had done.

* * *

**A/N:** I think longest chapter yet? I feel this chapter is different from other happy MerDer fics, perhaps it does potray Meredith as being a bit weak, which I believe that is far from. But I think in this story she feels weakened, her defences aren't as strong because of what has happened, trying to trust Derek again. With the short George and Meredith scene in the last chapter, it was because I got tired and lazy of writing more, so I left it shorter! Anyways... hope you liked this chapter, the "double date" will be next chapter. :) 

Happy reading, please review! I just wrote a lot of personalised thank-you thingys, and then pused a button so the window closed before I got to save it!

**natzbadfairy**- I'ma huge MerDer fan too! So I love MerDer fics. I don't think I'll end this fic anytime soon. I love finding a fic that I haven't read before that had lots of chapters! I'm a NZer and we've just aired Superstition, so a few more eps yet. Thanks for reviewing.

**MeredithandDerekfanforever **- Thanks for reviewing. I have lots of corny stuff planned still! I'm updating sooner because of holidays! More time to write!

**Meredith and Derek **- Yeah sorry about the drink scene, but I mentioned my pretty pathetice reason :P Thanks for reviewing.

**tydavislover - **Lots more cute stuff planned. I'm planning on making this fic really corny and mushy, so if you guys don't like it sorry! Thanks for reviewing.

**AlotLikeMeredith - **Derek's land is massive and he is a surgeon! I'm not sure if I'm going to write about the house being built. But if I do, it means the story will be very, very long and I'll probably run out of ideas! So... not sure yet... not sure how I'm going to end this either! Thanks for reviewing though :)

**kml57 - **Started the double date. I was going to write something else in this chapter. But i'll hold it off :). Date next chapter! Thanks for reviewing.

**luv24+Alias - **More fic! It's longer than the rest I think too! Hope you liked this chapter :) Thanks for reviewing.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"Hey, Meredith… Wake up…." Derek whispered nudging her lightly.

"Huh? What? Are we home?"

"Yeah, you nodded off... come on sleepy-head... I'll take you to your room." Derek said lifting her out of her seat.

"Come on Derek... Let me down, I can walk!" Meredith protested, sleepily,trying to get out of Derek's strong embrace, but after a while she couldn't be bothered struggling to get out, so she wrapped her small arms around his neck and breathed in his musky scent.

Derek carried Meredith up the stairs and into her room. He gently put her on her bed and kissed her forehead lightly.

"I'm going to get started on dinner, so you stay here, rest" Derek smiled and began to leave the room.

"Derek?" Meredith lay on her side with her head resting on her hand.

"Yeah?" Derek turned around and leant against the doorframe.

"What's the time?" She asked, moving into a sitting position.

"It's just after 12" Derek answered looking at his watch.

"Good, there's enough time" Meredith replied leaning against her headboard.

"Time for what?" Derek asked, putting his hand nonchalantly against his hip.

Meredith stood up and walked slowly towards Derek maintaining eye contact the whole time. Without speaking, she placed one hand on his chest and lightly kissed his lips.

"Ohh, time for that…" Derek said

"Uhuh..." Meredith answered slowly covering Derek in kisses.

* * *

"I guess you weren't that tired after all…" Derek smirked at Meredith, while getting out of bed, sitting on the edge putting his shirt back on. 

"You going to cook the big dinner?" Meredith asked hugging his back while lightly kissing his neck.

"Meredith… you're going have to stop that…" Derek said reluctantly

"It's only 2 …plenty of time…" Meredith replied working her fingers round the buttons of Derek's shirt.

Derek turned around and kissed Meredith passionately, then stood up abruptly.

"You know I wouldn't love to spend the rest of the day with you, but we have cooking to do, now come on…" Derek said sighing softly

"But I don't want to." Meredith pouted and laughed.

Derek hadn't heard that laugh in a while, he smiled thinking she was the most beautiful person. Her whole face lit up when she smiled, especially her eyes.

"You're so beautiful Mer." Derek bent down stroking her face gently.

"Derek… stop… you're making me blush" Meredith giggled like a schoolgirl, it was like she was a teenager again, lusting over some teen idol in the magazines.

"We can continue this later tonight you know... I think you owe me anyway... with all that in the trailer this morning..." Derek raised one eyebrow knowingly.

"Hmmm... yeah... well we'll just have to see how this dinner is... Why can't we just stay here a liiitttle longer?" Meredith whinged holding her fingers up so a tiny space was left to show the significance of the "little longer".

Derek kissed her forehead lightly and without warning picked Meredith up and threw her on his shoulder.

With Meredith yelling and protesting, he carried her down the stairs to the kitchen, putting her gently on the stool.

"Alright, I guess we should get started then" Derek announced, clapping his hands with a triumphant grin on his face. 

"I guess we should... this dinner better be good..." Meredith said seductively, laughing. "Okay... Mr. Hot-Shot chief, what are we making tonight?"

"Well… it looks like you bought ingredients for Spaghetti Bolognaise… so let's make that and I'll see what else I can whip up…" Derek said after inspecting the bag.

"Well let's get started then" Meredith said hopping off the stool.

"Mmmm tastes good Derek, I didn't know you could cook… Might just have to keep you around…" Meredith kissed Derek's cheek lightly and went over to set the table.

"I have many hidden talents Meredith" Derek watched Meredith set the table, dancing along to the music they had put on, occasionally brushing a fallen piece of hair.

"Why are you watching me Derek?" Meredith asked with a grin on her face as she placed a fork on the table.

"Because you're hot" Derek replied with a cheeky grin.

"Am I now? Hmmm well Dr. Shepherd, I happen to think you're quite spunky too…" Meredith said moving towards Derek.

She offered him a kiss which he gratefully accepted.

"Yum…" Meredith said after finally breaking for air.

"Sauce taste good huh?" Derek grinned

"Yeah, but you're pretty delicious" Meredith laughed and lightly slapped his ass.

"I'm going to get ready before they come. I called Cristina before and told we were going to dress up. She wasn't very pleased, but I wanted to looknice for you." Meredith said chewing on a piece of celery that Derek was chopping up.

"You already look pretty sexy." Derek answered eyeing Meredith, as if checking her out for the very first time.

"Shut up" Meredith playfully swatted Derek's arm and headed for the stairs.

"Meredith?"

"Yeah?" Meredith turned around tucking the loss piece of hair that had fallen out again.

"I love you"

Meredith smiled. "I love you too; I'm going to get ready now. They're going to be here in an hour"

* * *

**A/N:** Hey guys! Sorry, I've been meaning to update a little earlier, but then just didn't! I lied too... I said that the date would be in this chapter I think this was turned out pretty good. Lots and LOTs of FLUFF! Question for all, slightly un GA related... do you think a long, black trenchcoat (goth sorta styled) is weird? 

You guys should listen to some of the songs from GA

Songs that I highly recommend (which are all like easy-listening, soft.):

Scratch- Kendall Payne (I **LOVE**)

Breathe (2am)- Anna Nalick

Wreck of the Day- Anna Nalick

Catalyst- Anna Nalick

Throw it Away- Brandi Carlile

Tragedy- Brandi Carlile

Fools Like Me- Lisa Loeb

Into the Fire- Thirteen Senses

Plus a tonne more, the music, soundtrack to GA is really cool!

* * *

**luv24+Alias**- I'm glad you liked it! I'll try write more soon :). Thanks for the review.

**MeredithandDerekfanforever/Brandy **- I think this chapter was possibly a bit too fluffy... but what can I say?... I'm a sucker for a happy story! I hope you liked it. Date next chapter as promised! Thanks for the review.

**chaty1- **Thanks! I try my best, I'm glad some people like it! A lot of people would not be able to handle the degree of happy, fluffy love! I tried to make Meredith be strong, but still want Derek's help, because on Grey's Anatomy I think she's a lot stronger than in my fic, well stronger on the outside- still pretty torn on the inside. Then again, my fic is more happy! Thanks for the review.

**AlotLikeMeredith**- I hate jerks and people that think they're too good for everyone and everything (snobs). Thats cool you wanna be a doctor, working with kids sounds fun because little kids are so cute, but challenging because well they can't communicate properly... But at least you have a direction for you're future. I'm thinking high school teacher... which people say is a "waste" of my talent, but I like to help people and some people have to teach the brain surgeons! We all can't be doctors or lawyers! Anyways, Thanks for the review!

**natzbadfairy**- I'm glad you're liking my story! Please write your fic soon! I can't wait to read more MerDer fluff! I'll try update mine soon :). Thanks for the review.

**Meredith and Derek**- Sorry... I lied... well I was really going to write the double date this chapter, but then I got caught up in MerDer fluff and I figured it was long enough for one chapter! Next chapter though, definately! Thanks for the review.

**kml57**- Thanks, I think it's cute... any MerDer action is cute :P Thanks for the review!

Thanks to everyone who has been reading to! I hope some people I haven't had reviews from review, so I can have a proper chance to thank you all!

Until next time- Goodbye!


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Meredith finished applying her make up and starting putting on her emerald green, strapless dress when Derek walked into the room.

"Oh Derek, great timing, can you zip me up?"

Derek gulped and walked towards Meredith; he slowly zipped up her dress and gently ran his hand over her bare shoulders.

"Thanks" Meredith pulled her hair around to one side, turned around and lightly kissed Derek.

Meredith began walking towards her dresser to find some earrings, when she noticed Derek was still standing there. She turned around and smiled at him.

"What are you doing Dr. Shepherd?" Meredith asked putting on some nice green drop earrings that matched her dress.

Derek shook his head out of his day dream.

"Nothing… nothing… just thought you'd like to know dinner's ready and about 15 minutes until Cristina and Burke arrive…"

Derek was fixated by how beautiful Meredith looked and reluctantly started to change into some nicer clothes himself, which he had put in his car earlier in the morning, thinking he probably wouldn't have time to go back to the trailer after his shift at the hospital.

Derek sneaked looks at Meredith every now and then who was still adjusting her make-up, hair and dress.

"Derek… I know you're looking at me… what's wrong, does my ass look too big in this…" Meredith asked looking in the mirror with a smile.

He walked up behind Meredith and pushed her hair away and started kissing her neck. "Oh no I think you look hot…"

"Good" Meredith replied moving away from him.

"I'm sorry Derek. But one, they're going to be here very soon and two, you had your chance before, now you're just going to have to wait"

Meredith laughed and poked her tongue out at Derek before making her way down the stairs.

Derek laughed and finished getting ready.

* * *

Derek walked down the stairs in a pair of black pants with a matching casual jacket and a blue-black V-necked, fitted top.

"Hey, finally made an appearance I see" said Meredith greeting him with a kiss.

"Wine?" she asked pouring herself a glass.

"I'd love some, you do look nice tonight Mer." He replied taking the glass of wine Meredith had poured.

"Hmmm… I know" She said laughing. "Now, we just have to wait for…"

ding dong

"Ah, that will be them…I'll get it…" Meredith walked to the doors and greeted Cristina and Burke.

"Hey Mer, you look hot!" Cristina pulled Meredith into a hug whispering "Thanks for doing this."

"Don't mention it" Meredith replied, showing the two doctors into the house.

"You look pretty damn fine yourself Cristina" Meredith said louder.

"Is there something you're not telling me Mer?" Derek asked as he handed Cristina a glass of wine.

"Cristina is looking hotter than you I'm sorry." Meredith replied referring to Cristina's black halter neck dress which fell just below her knees and she was wearing strappy stilettos to match.

"Hey Burke, you look pretty nice too" Meredith smiled accepting the wine he had bought.

Burke was dressed in a casual black, pinstriped suit.

"Thank-you Meredith, but I'd have to say; Cristina is looking much better than me"

"Burke you're making me look bad now." Derek feigned annoyance.

"Dinner smells good? Did you cook?" Cristina asked Meredith

"Yeah I helped, don't look so shocked. But after that incident at the supermarket Derek thought he'd better help me. He did most of the cooking, but I'm just going to take the credit…"

"Are you okay Meredith from that, Derek told us about that jerk" Burke asked sipping his wine.

"Yeah, I'm okay, Derek's been great." Meredith replied, smiling.

"Where are Izzie and George tonight?" Cristina asked, wondering where Meredith had hidden them.

"Oh I just asked if we could have the house to ourselves tonight, so they're out at a movie, then drinks after with Callie and Alex. I think George really likes Callie" Meredith replied.

"Oh right…Yeah and looks like Izzie and Alex have a thing going on maybe?..."Cristina replied, a little relieved that Meredith didn't tell them about the double date.

"We all ready for dinner?" Derek asked walking back from the kitchen.

"Yeah, smells good…" they all replied

* * *

"That was great Derek, thank you" Burke said after they had finished their meal.

"Yeah good job Meredith" Cristina grinned at Meredith

"Hey what's this thanking Meredith for, I did all the work…" Derek said while taking the dishes away.

"Here, let me give you a hand… Derek you do the work, I take the credit… that's how it goes…" Meredith said grabbing some plates off the table.

"Oh yeah, who says so?" Derek said raising an eyebrow.

"Me and you better not argue with me or this dress ain't coming off" Meredith walked out of the kitchen after putting the dishes down.

"We should do this again sometime, but at our place" Burke said smiling

"That would be nice" Meredith smiled looking at the shocked look Cristina had on her face.

"That would be okay right Cristina?" Burked looked at her as if to make her agree.

"Oh, yeah, yeah… more often… yep…"Cristina replied.

Meredith laughed and turned around to see Derek walking.

"So guys, dessert?" Derek asked placing one hand gently on Meredith's back.

"When did you make dessert?" Meredith asked

"When you were getting ready, I went and got a cake from the bakery around the corner."

* * *

"Thanks for coming guys"

Meredith and Derek said their final goodbyes and closed the door.

"That was good." Meredith replied.

"Yeah it was…" Derek replied picking her up over her shoulder.

"What are you doing Derek! Put me down, we have dishes to do!" Meredith kicked her feet, struggling to get out of his tight grasp.

"Oh but we have to finish something that I've been wanting to do all night." Derek said making his way up the stairs.

"Yes, but if we don't get down there and finish those dishes; Izzie is going to kill us and I'm too young to die."

Derek laughed and reluctantly put her down.

"I'm going to get out of this dress, don't want muck all over it and then come help you."

"I can help you with that…"

"Get down there and start those dishes!" Meredith ran up the stairs

Derek laughed and walked down the stairs towards the kitchen.

* * *

**A/N**: Hey guys! I updated super soon! Hope you liked this chapter, I'll try update again soon, but we'll just have to wait and see...

Just few things I should have probably mentioned... Burke and Derek are sort of friends, like they respect each other, get along for the sake of Meredith and Cristina, but there's always that competition of who is going to be chief.

As you have probably gather, George and Callie (just because I feel sorry for George), Alex and Izzie (Denny never exsisted)

It's probably still going to focus on Meredith and Derek.

**luv24+Alias**- I wrote more now! I'm actually starting on chapter 16 now. Getting too long? I like long fics... Thanks for the review.

**Heather0120**- McDreamy is soooo hot... ahhh just wanna eat him! Thanks for the review!

**chaty1**- :) I'm glad you like it, and don't think it's too fluffy! Thanks for the review :)

**kml57**- I updated very soon, sooner than usually anyways :) Thanks for the review :P!

**AlotLikeMeredith**- Really? I mean on a guy... trenchcoat, long and black... I love high heels though! I found some awesome shoes... they're so cute, but kind of sophisticated, with a cute ribbon, they were $150, which I thought was a bit too pricey considering I'm 16 and don't have a job at the moment. BUT I found some yummy perfume that I'm getting when I go to Japan, Ralph Hot. It smells coconutty... and HOT... I have Ralph, and Ralph Cool! Anyways... Thanks for the review, and I'm gald you like the fic :)


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

"Looks like they had fun…" Izzie said as she walked into the house to find Derek's pants hanging off the banister.  
"Yeah, well at least they tidied up." George followed Izzie into the house and started up the stairs.

"It's quiet they must be asleep." George said heading to his room.

"I'm going to sleep." George said waving his hand to Izzie to signal goodnight.

"Night George."

"You're not going to bed?" George asked poking his head out down the stairwell.

"Nah, I'm going to bake some muffins or something, can't sleep."

"Oh okay, try get to get some rest. You're going to be a walking zombie otherwise." George walked back into his room.

Izzie smiled and started to get some ingredients out. She thought about how sweet Alex was lately. Maybe she would give him another chance.

* * *

"Meredith? Where are my pants?" Derek asked the next morning

"What?..." Meredith asked still half-asleep.

"My pants?" Derek frantically looked for them, and poked his outside to find them hanging on the banister. He ducked out and grabbed them.

"What time do you have to be in?" Meredith asked sitting up with the sheets around her.

"Soon, but I only have one surgery today. I should be out by 2 after I finished the paperwork. What about you?"

"No work today." Meredith smiled pumping her fists in the air in joy. She loved being a doctor, but sometimes it was so exhausting.

Derek laughed and kissed her forehead.

"I gotta go, but swing by my trailer this afternoon and we'll go out?"

"Okay. Sounds good. I'm going back to sleep. See you later."

"Bye Mer. Love you" Derek kissed her forehead again and Meredith bent her head up to deepen the kiss.

"I love you too."

Derek smiled and headed down the stairs.

"So you guys had some pretty radical sex last night, saw your pants…" Izzie said with a smile.

"Muffin?" She offered.

"No thanks… Yeah sorry, about that…" Derek replied with a grin.

"Are you guys going to be home for dinner tonight? I'm cooking" Izzie asked taking a bite out of the muffin.

"Yeah, we will. Sorry have to go, surgery." Derek waved a quick goodbye and dashed out of the door.

* * *

Meredith woke a few hours later and went to see her mother. She hadn't seen her in a while. She walked into the doors of the nursing home and saw her mum sitting in the sunlight, staring out the window.

"Hey Mom, it's me Meredith."

"Meredith, what are you doing here, you should be at school." Ellis replied with a angry look on her face.

"Mom, I'm a doctor now. Remember?"

"Oh yes…. a doctor… I was a doctor once… I think…"

"Yeah mom, you were a surgeon."

"Oh right."

Meredith tried to keep a conversation with her mother which seemed to go nowhere, some moments she seemed to be lucid but then suddenly started talking about surgeries she had to go to. Meredith left an hour later feeling so lost, but she had to keep going. She didn't want anyone else to worry about her and let their day be spoiled too.

* * *

4'o'clock came quickly as Meredith spent the rest of the day shopping. She found a great top for Derek and a few things for her friends too. She drove to Derek's trailer to find that it wasn't a trailer anymore. It was a concrete base, the foundations of a house.

"Hey, do you like it?" Derek asked as Meredith stepped out of the car.

"I thought you weren't going to build for a few months?..." Meredith asked very surprised at what she saw.

"I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry… Are you okay with this?"

Meredith didn't think she would be okay; he was moving so fast, but one look into his eyes, full of care, love. She knew it would be okay.

She took his face and cupped it with her hands before moving into a kiss.

"It's wonderful."

"Good, I made us a picnic too." He moved to reveal a blanket with a small spread of food.

Meredith smiled and moved to sit down on the blanket.

They spent the afternoon discussing where the rooms where going and eating.

* * *

Meredith shivered in the misty dusk, which didn't go unnoticed by Derek.

"Hey I bought you something" Meredith said remembering the shirt.

"Do you like it?" It was a very expensive black, merino wool top. Very soft.

"It's beautiful, thank you." Derek kissed Meredith and Meredith deepened the kiss.

"You know…we should be heading back now, Izzie's cooking tonight." Derek held up his hand for Meredith.

Meredith took his hand and smiled, Derek kissed her hand quickly and they walked her to her car.

"See you soon." Derek said.

Meredith gave him a long kiss before getting into her car.

"See you soon." Meredith replied giving him a quick wave.

* * *

"Hey Iz. Wow, smells really good. Who's coming for tea?" Meredith asked taking her coat off.

"Thanks Meredith… Um… Alex, Callie, Burke and Cristina." Izzie answered getting back to her cooking.

"Like a couple's thing? Seriously?" Meredith raised her eyebrows.

"What?" Izzie asked defensively.

"Nothing, nothing. Looks good. It's going to be awesome."

Derek walked in and placed his hands on Meredith's hips. Meredith turned round and gave him a smile.

"Smells delicious Izzie" Derek smiled and dipped his head down to give Meredith a kiss.

"I hope it's good, I've spent ages on this" Izzie said with an exasperated look.

"I'm sure it will be great."

The guests started piling in, and everyone was mingling along, with Izzie saying no shop talk, which obviously annoyed Cristina.

* * *

The dinner was delicious as expected. Izzie had gone to a lot of trouble cooking everything. A delicious roast with vegetables, salads, and dessert.

"Dinner was amazing" George said smiling

"Yeah thanks." everyone said.

"We should get going…" Burke rose from his seat and put out his hand for Cristina.

"Thanks Burke, but I'm not an invalid." Cristina flashed him a quick smile.

Burke knew how stubborn she could get, and let her have her way.

"Thanks again Izzie. It was delicious." Burke said again.

"Yeah, thanks Izzie." Cristina said with a weak smile.

"Thanks for coming" Izzie replied and showed them out.

Meredith sat sipping her glass of wine, with her hand over Derek's which was on her lap. This is how it was supposed to be. Her, Derek and her friends. Her family.

"Hey Iz, I'm going to head off now. Thanks for dinner. See you later guys." Alex said.

"Thanks Alex, maybe we can do something sometime." Izzie said showing Alex to the door.

"Sure Iz." Alex said kissing her lightly. "See you."

"Yeah see you..." Izzie said leaning on the wall for a moment, smiling, before walking back into the dining room.

"I better be off too. Thanks for the dinner Izzie" Callie said, smiling at Izzie.

"No problem." Izzie replied graciously, as she started to clear the dishes.

"Oh me and Derek can do those, Izzie. You've done enough." Meredith said.

"No it's fine." Izzie protested

"No we insist, go have a bath or something. Dinner was great." Derek grabbed the plates off Izzie.

"Thanks guys, I really need a bath. See you later Callie." Izzie waved goodbye at Callie who was kissing George goodnight at the door.

Meredith began to help Derek clear away the table and stifled a yawn.

"You get to bed." Derek said walking up behind her and putting an arm around her hips.

"No, I'm fine. I'll help you with this" Meredith said stifling yet another yawn.

"George will help me, you go to sleep." Derek said tossing a towel at George.

"Yeah Meredith, go to bed. Me and Dr. Shep… Derek, have got it all under control."

"Thanks guys, I'll see you up there" Meredith quickly kissed Derek.

George shifted his eyes and started on the dishes.

"Sorry for roping you in like that, wanted to get Meredith off to bed." Derek said helping George with the dishes.

"Oh no, not a problem. I understand" George replied, smiling unconvincingly

"Is there a problem George?" Derek asked putting the wine glasses away.

"No, no… not at all…" George obviously had a few feelings left for Meredith but he just had to let them go. He was just a bit jealous of Derek, Meredith's McDreamy.

"Okay then… So… you and Dr. Torres ay...?" Derek said with a smirk.

George cleared his throat. "Yeah, she's nice."

Derek laughed knowing that George was embarrassed. "Don't worry George, dishes almost done; I'll stop embarrassing you now."

"I'm not embarrassed, just something you don't talk to your boss about" George replied putting the last of the dishes away.

"I'm not just your boss. When we're not at the hospital, I'm your best friend's boyfriend and I mean I can be your friend." Derek said with a friendly smile.

"Oh yeah, cool… I'm off to bed now… night Derek" George said heading towards his room.

Derek chuckled to himself, George was a good person.

Derek went up to Meredith's room and shuffled into bed next to Meredith who was sound asleep. He wrapped an arm around her and kissed her hair. Meredith sighed and snuggled into Derek closer.

"I love you Mer" Derek whispered before falling asleep himself.

* * *

Meredith woke with Derek's arm firmly around her waist. The past week had been crazy, the jerk, the dinner with Cristina, dinner with Izzie and everyone, the developments on Derek's house and work. She hardly had anytime to spend with Derek, her friends or by herself.

She turned around so she could see his face. She smiled and lightly placed her hand on his cheek and kissed his lips gently.

"Mer…" Derek mumbled; his voice laced with sleep.

"Shhh, you try get a bit more sleep, you have time before your first surgery."

"Okay Meredith…" Derek mumbled again falling back into sleep.

Meredith snuggled against his chest. She could hear his heart beat and feel his chest rising as he breathed. She sighed and breathed in his scent.

"Oh God…" She ran to the bathroom and started to empty the entire content of her stomach. Thankfully she hadn't woken Derek, who was pretty much dead with the hectic work hours he had this week.

Meredith put her head against the wall near the toilet and sat there recovering. _It's nothing, just stress; I've had a stressful week… I'm fine…_

She continued to deny the fact that she could be pregnant. _I'm fine…_

She looked at her watch, 4:00; she had an hour before she had to get to work.

_Shower_ she thought _Long shower…_

Feeling like a zombie she felt the warm water run over her skin, soothing and refreshing her. _I'm fine… I can't be… No… I'm fine… _She kept reassuring herself.

She heard the bathroom door open and felt a hand on her shoulder.

"The prince awakes from his slumber I see" Meredith smiled weakly, pretending she was okay.

"Good morning to you too… I thought I'd join you this morning." Derek stroked her hair and cheek before leaning in for a kiss.

"Are you alright Mer? You look a little pale." Derek look obviously worried.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little tired is all, worried about a patient." Meredith smiled and silenced him with kiss.

"Are you sure?" Derek asked after the broke away.

"I'm fine, really."

"If you're sure…"

"I am… now weren't we supposed to start something?" Meredith smiled putting her arms around his neck, pushing the nagging feeling she had away.

* * *

**A/N**: Wow! Longest chapter definately! I just started writing and didn't stop! That was the first bit of the CORNY stuff planned! Hope you guys liked it, I'm probably banned for a few days now because it's 12:30 and couple nights ago my mum told me I have to get off by 12 :P woops... It's not very well proof-read etc. and might sound rushed because I need to go soon!

I've fully decided music sucks... (the class, at high school)

Does anyone know what a musical effect is? (as in- "Eact of the extracts chosen must create a distinctive musical/emotional effect for you")

I'm a NZer, but in keeping with some sort of Grey's Anatomy feeling in the spelling, I used the American "Mom". Is that cool with everyone?

**Meredith and Derek**- It's cool, at least you reviewed the last chapter for me! I think Cristina probably secretly likes all this Burke fussing around her. :P Don't know what's in that mind of her's really! I wrote heaps this chapter! Hope you like. Thanks for the review! 

**kml57**- Thanks, I'm glad you like my writing! I was going to leave the last part for the next chapter, but I was like what the heck and shoved it in here lol. Thanks for the review!

**ilajkajas2215**- Thanks, should I keep going for ages! Thanks for the review!

**chaty1**- Yay, I like cute :P My friends tell me I use that word too much! Thanks for the review!

**AlotLikeMeredith**- Oh that's because you answered my question, then we just started having like conversations... crap... I think I hear my mum... no... false alarm... phew LOL... I had a job and I started it when I was 14, but they closed down a few months ago. But my mum is giving me $20/week pocket money :P tehehe... I still have a bit from holiday pay too, so okay at the moment. Just wait until after Japan and probably exams if I don't get any of the jobs I applied for... I want GA season 2 as well, won't be out here for ages, Season 2 hasn't finished on TV yet. And I want Alias season 5... hoping it comes out here! Thanks for the review!

**luv24+Alias**- Not too long? Good :P! Thanks for the review!

**natzbadfairy**- I think McDreamy wearing nothing is better ;) tehehe. I find it harder to describe men's clothing. But I try :P I updated soon, and I'll try to update soon again, but I have that music assignment, which is FREAKING IMPOSSIBLE! lol Thanks for the review!


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Meredith walked into the doors of Seattle Grace not knowing how she was going get through the day.

She walked into the locker room just missing a head on collision with Alex.

"Oh sorry Alex." she mumbled walking towards her locker.

"Yeah, whatever" _Nice to see he can still be a jerk. _Meredith thought.

"Hey Meredith." Cristina said walking into the locker room eating a doughnut with a cup of coffee in her other hand.

"Hey Cristina…" Meredith sighed and sat down on the ground.

"What's wrong with you?" Cristina asked shoving her stuff into her locker.

"Nothing, I think I'm coming down with something that's all..." Meredith dashed to the toilet to throw up yet again.

"Don't give it to me… wait… Meredith… are you PREGNANT!" Cristina yelled with a shocked look on her face.

"I am not pregnant. It's probably something I ate, or the flu. I'm fine…" Meredith changed into her scrubs and tied up her hair, ready for pre-rounds.

"God Mer… If you're pregnant, it's going to ruin your career… " Cristina quickly finished her doughnut while Meredith watched her eat the doughnut looking queasy.

"Who's pregnant?" Izzie asked walking into the locker room overhearing the last part of the conversation.

"No one is pregnant" Meredith quickly answered shooting Cristina a look.

"Why am I always left out of the loop? You guys have all you're secrets…" Izzie banged her locker shut and put on her shoes.

"It's because you're a gossip Izzie" Cristina said as if it was the most obvious thig in the world.

"I am not!" Izzie said defensively.

"Yeah…" Cristina started

"There are no secrets." Meredith interrupted Cristina before it turned out into a full out argument.

"I am not a gossip." Izzie said before leaving to check on patients.

"Whatever, still… if you are Meredith, you need to get it checked out… sucks to be you… see you…" Cristina said exiting the locker room.

_I'm not pregnant… no way…_ Meredith continued to ignore that she could be pregnant. _If I am… it can't be bad, I mean I have Derek. We haven't talked about kids though… I'm not pregnant anyway, it doesn't matter then. Oh god, I need to puke again…_ she ran to the toilet for the third time. She didn't hear Derek coming in to check where she was.

"Meredith?" Derek called around wondering if it was her throwing up in the toilet.

_Crap, _she thought.

"Meredith? Is that you?" Derek knocked on the toilet door where Meredith was.

"No…" Meredith said unconvincingly.

"Don't lie to me Mer, Cristina said you were still here…"

_She better not have told him that I could be pregnant. _Meredith sighed reluctantly opened the door and tried to get past Derek.

"What's wrong Meredith? Are you sick?" Derek asked not letting her past.

"I'm fine, seriously. It's just something I ate." Meredith said avoiding eye contact and pushing past.

"Mer, maybe you should go home. You don't look so well." Derek walked towards her and touched her hair.

Meredith busied herself, pretending she was fine, and pretending she was getting stuff out of her locker.

"I'm fine. I get OR time today, scrubbing in on Burke's surgery. Can't miss that." Meredith flashed him a weak smile.

Derek looked concerned and pushed a loose piece of hair out of her face.

"Gotta go before Bailey shoots me. See you tonight" Meredith practically ran out of the locker room.

_What's wrong with her? _Derek thought completely oblivious to the fact that she could be pregnant.

* * *

_Wow, the human heart_ Meredith thought watching Burke _This is why I wanted to be a surgeon. _

"Dr. Grey, are you alright? You're looking a little pale there." Burke asked

"I'm fine, this is amazing…" She said.

Burke chuckled.

* * *

"Here I bought you this." Cristina said shoving a pregnancy test in Meredith's hand at lunch.

"Cristina, I am not pregnant!" Meredith protested

"Take the test; I'll believe it when I see it's negative." Cristina said putting a sandwich in her mouth.

"Meredith, eat for god's sake. You're a twig"

"Oh no" Meredith said covering her mouth with her hand. "Can't keep anything down."

Cristina rolled her eyes. "Go take the test now."

"Fine." Meredith said. "I'll go now then, shut you up. But you owe me a round of drinksonce you seethis is negative."

"Oh crap." Meredith stared at the test. Positive. What was she going to do? How was she going to tell Derek? What about her career?

Cristina knocked on the toilet door impatiently. "You have so got to be done in there. Come out, show me."

"Um yeah, coming" Meredith wiped the tear that had fallen. "Yeah it's negative…" Meredith mumbled in denial.

"Bull." Cristina answered. "Let me see the test." Cristina stood her ground, stubborn.

"It's times like these, I hate you. You know that?" Meredith showed her the positive pregnancy test.

"Crap… you are so screwed…" Cristina mumbled

"Yeah I know. My career is screwed. How am I going to tell Derek?" Meredith said sliding down the wall so she was sitting down.

"Tell me what?" Derek said walking into the locker room.

Cristina's eyes bulged out of her head. No way was she going to stay for this.

"You know, I have to check on… some… patients…" she said rushing out of the room.

"Tell me what?" Derek asked looking at Meredith, concerned.

"Um…" Meredith sighed and stood up. Moving to hold Derek's hands.

"Sit down." She commanded.

"Okay… um…" Meredith sat down so that she was facing him.

"I know we haven't talked about it…" Meredith started playing with Derek's hands.

"Talked about what…" Derek asked his forehead folding into a crease.

"Alright…" Meredith sighed.

"Here goes nothing..." she whispered.

"I'm pregnant" She mumbled.

"What I'm sorry I didn't hear that." Derek asked.

"Oh god…" Meredith said on the verge of tears.

Derek cupped her face with his hands.

"Whatever it is, we can get through this. I love you." Derek said, smiling.

"You really love me?" Meredith asked apprehensively.

Derek nodded.

"Seriously?" Meredith asked again.

"Yes, with all my heart. What's wrong?" Derek asked rubbing her arm gently.

"I'm pregnant" Meredith said, this time louder.

"You're what?" Derek asked, confused at what she just said.

"I'm pregnant" Meredith mumbled, eyes looking at the ground.

"Mer?... look at me" Derek said.

Meredith reluctantly looked into his blue eyes, so full of love.

"I love you. I will love this baby. You are the most incredible person in the world. I know we haven't talked about having a baby, but I have wanted to start a family with you ever since we met. I want to grow old with you. I want to have plenty more babies, or just have fun trying."

Meredith chuckled a bit.

"What about my job Derek? My internship?"

"I'm sure something can be arranged with the chief. Bailey carried on while she was pregnant. It will be fine. Everything will be fine."

Derek kissed her forehead lightly.

Meredith sighed and let Derek hold her.

* * *

**A/N: **Cute no? I need to wash my hair and practise piano...so only a quick A/N (yay they all say!)

**aliciums8187**- tehehe, I hope you liked this chapter. I was always going to make her pregnant. She was going to hav a fight with Derek. But I like fluffyness lol. Make love not war and all. Thanks for the review.

**kml57**- George is cute, I feel so sorry for him. I hope he finds happiness. Maybe not with Callie. I don't like her... Thanks for the review.

**AlotLikeMeredith**- Season 2 hasn't finished here yet, no. We just saw the one where Cristina gets naked to get George out of her place :P Name of the Game? Brothers... I haven't got one... Well half- siblings, but whatever, they're like 30 and I don't talk to the younger ones! Anyways, hope you liked the chapter. Thanks for the review.

**chaty1**- Thanks! Hope you liked this chapter too. Thanks for the review.

**ilajkajas2215**- I'm a proud kiwi! I use a lot of kiwi slang I guess, I don't notice it, but others might :) Thanks for the review.

**luv24+Alias**- Meredith is pregnant! Cute MerDer babies! I love the fluff... Thanks for the review.

**natzbadfairy**- Thank you! Feeling warm fuzzies inside now :P. Thanks for the review. Hope you liked this chapter!


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Meredith drove up her driveway thinking about Derek, the baby, her life.

How was she going to tell him about what happened after Addison came?

She sighed as she turned off the engine and rested her head against the steering wheel.

She heard a soft tap against the window and looked up to see Derek smiling.

Meredith rolled down the window and plastered a fake smile on her face.

"Hey Derek, how was surgery today?" Meredith asked leaning out to give him a kiss.

"Yeah, I lost my patient. He was just a kid." He sighed running his hand through his hair.

Meredith stroked his face and stared into his blue eyes.

"It's not your fault. You did the best you could."

"Hmmm… he was just so young you know?" He opened the car door and held out his hand to Meredith.

"Come on, lets go inside" Meredith said winding up the window and taking his hand.

As they walked inside, Derek looped an arm around Meredith's waist. _I'll tell him later _thought Meredith_ he's had enough for today._ Meredith smiled weakly at Derek as he looked at her.

"I'll get some cake for us Derek, you sit down." Meredith said wagging her finger at him.

Derek smiled at sat down at the table. Meredith walked over moments later with a big slab of cake and 2 forks.

"Chocolate cake, courtesy of Izzie Stevens" Meredith said placing the cake on the table.

"Thanks Mer"

"No worries, you should thank Izzie though" She said taking a mouthful.

They sat silently eating the cake. Meredith absentmindedly placed a hand protectively on her stomach.

Derek smiled as he watched her, she had that glow people talked about that expectant mothers had. Something was different about her today; there was something on her mind.

"Mer?"

"Hmmm" Meredith answered snapping out of her trance and looking at him with a smile.

"Is everything alright?"

_It's now or never Meredith Grey, pluck up some courage and tell him_

"Not really" Meredith answered sitting up straight and grabbing onto both of his hands.

Derek folded him brow into a concerned crease.

"Mer… what's wrong? You can tell me anything" Derek asked rubbing her hands gently.

"Okay, well that night when Addison showed up…" Meredith felt Derek tense at the mention of Addison's name.

"I was going to tell you something at dinner… God this is hard… I was pregnant before Derek. I was going to tell you. But I couldn't, I couldn't make you choose me because it was the right thing to do, you knocked up your mistress and chose her. I wouldn't let you be that guy. I couldn't be that girl… I did what was best for us all…" Meredith sighed and a silent tear rolled down her cheek.

Derek suddenly let go of her hands.

"You did what?" Derek said in an angry whisper.

"I'm sorry Derek…" more tears spilled down her cheeks.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me. You had an abortion… Our baby. You could've, you should've told me." Derek said raising his voice.

"Derek please, try to understand. I did what I thought was best for all of us…" Meredith pleaded

"You did what was best for Meredith. As always. I can't be here at the moment." Derek walked out and slammed the door.

"God I need a drink, but I can't because I'm carrying his baby… my baby…" Meredith started to sob. What had she done? She suddenly felt a jab in her stomach. She doubled over in pain and collapsed on the floor. _This can't be happening, I can't lose another baby_ she thought trying to reach the counter for the phone.

"Don't mind me, I just forgot my keys… Meredith?" Derek gasped as he saw her lying on the ground, holding her stomach.

"Oh my god, Meredith, we need to get you to the hospital. I'll call them on the way here." he picked up Meredith and carried her to the car.

Meredith clutched her stomach in pain. "I'm sorry Derek…" she said clutching her stomach.

"Shh… Meredith… we've got to get you to the hospital." Derek said stoking her hair.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry… the baby…I can't loose this one too… I just can't…" Meredith mumbled crying.

Derek just concentrated on getting Meredith to the hospital.

* * *

**A/N:** Drama? yes? no? I tried... not really as fluffy as my other chapters. Sorry it's really short (homework) and this might be my last chapter for a while because school starts again tomorrow. I'll try, but chances are I won't be much :( Sorry guys! Watching the "Under Pressure" recap episode now, cute :) I really want Meredith and Derek to get back together REALLY BADLY!

**kml57**- I don't know who I see George with... he's so cute though, like when he was with Bailey convincing her to have her baby... so cute... Thanks for the review!

**AlotLikeMeredith**- It wasn't supposed to be funny, but meh lol, whatever! I can see the humour. I'm a Chinese-New Zealander! Kiwi, go the All Blacks... yup... LOL... hey dude, I'm not going to be here to write for a while probably, add me on msn if u have msn :) Thanks for the review!

**natzbadfairy**- Yeah... McDreamy wasn't that nice, but yeah I would react that way, if I were a guy and my girlfriend had an abortion without my knowledge... unless I was a dick, but McDreamy is nice. :P Thanks for the review!

**chaty1**- Thanks for the review!Sorry not going to be updating as often.

**starbuckfaerie21**- I was racking my brain trying to figure out what to add... then i thought this... is it okay:) Thanks for the review!

**Meredith and Derek**- Babies are cute, cute... I'm trying to figure out how to... better not give it away... :P Thanks for the review!

**luv24+Alias**- Sorry! Not very fluffy this chapter... hope you liked it though! Thanks for the review!


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Meredith's eyes fluttered open, catching the white lines snaking round her arms. The slow beeps from the monitor. She staggered out of the bed, confused, dazed. She walked into the corridor, walked down the corridor in her light hospital gown. She wandered aimlessly down the hallway.

"Meredith… Meredith..." Derek ran up to her

"Where am I? What's happening?..." Meredith asked looking around her frantically.

"You're in the hospital…" Derek replied holding her arm to guide her back to her room.

"What? Why am I in the hospital…" Meredith scrunched her face up in confusion as she obediently walked with Derek back to her room.

"You had an accident…"

"My baby?" Meredith gasped looking at Derek for reassurance.

Derek bowed his head and lightly placed his hand on top of hers.

"I'm sorry Meredith." Derek said soothingly.

"My baby?" Meredith repeated in shock. She pulled her knees to her chest and held them tightly.

"There were some complications, an ectopic pregnancy… there wasn't anything we could do… I'm sorry Meredith, we should have never fought…" Derek stared at her hand under his.

"My baby…" Meredith sobbed and lay in a foetal position. Derek put hisarm around her and held her.

* * *

Izzie Stevens walked into the small room where Meredith was. She knew what it was like to loose a baby, but Meredith had lost her baby forever. At least she knew that her baby was safe with a loving family. 

Derek lay with the sleeping Meredith. His face tear-streaked. He looked exhausted.

"Dr Shepherd" Izzie whispered

Derek turned around, careful not to wake Meredith.

"Go home, I'll look after her." Izzie said, feeling sympathy for them when she saw how much pain they were both in.

"I can't I have to be here for her…" Derek sighed and moved to sit in the empty chair.

"I love her a lot, but when she told me about the baby. The one she had aborted… I just couldn't believe she didn't tell me. I guess it's my fault too. I did choose Addison and she couldn't tell me. She didn't trust me anymore. But I had a right to know. Is this another regret I will have for choosing Addison? I can't take it anymore. I just don't know what to do. I feel so selfish that I am so hurt that Meredith didn't tell me, but then it's my fault she didn't tell me. Do I have the right to be angry? Do I just forgive her?" Derek's face was torn with emotion, with anger, hurt, confusion, pain.

"I'm sorry Izzie, just to dump this on you. I just don't know what do anymore" He roughly rubbed his hair and face.

Izzie felt so sorry for him, but then she knew how much Meredith went through with the first baby.

Izzie lent against the doorframe.

"You just have to be there for her Derek. She has lost another child. The first time she was alone, she was in so much pain. She didn't sleep, didn't eat and cried herself to sleep for weeks. She couldn't tell you, you're wife came back into your life. I mean maybe she should have told you, it was your baby too. But she can't go through this by herself again. Derek, you have to be strong for her. When the time is right, you guys can talk. Go home Derek, have a shower, get a few hours sleep then come back for her. I'll keep an eye on her for you." Izzie smiled weakly at Derek.

Derek sighed. "I think you might be right, I'll have a shower. I'll be back in a couple hours. Thanks Izzie."

Izzie smiled. "Take your time."

"Izzie?" Meredith said a single tear falling down her cheek from her closed eyes.

"Meredith, Derek just left, he'll be back soon." Izzie said moving to sit on the end of her bed.

"I know, I heard." Meredith whispered, eyes still closed.

"Derek loves you… he's just… confused…"

"I know… I wish things were different… better… I love him… I really wanted this baby. Maybe its god's punishment for me not wanting my other baby, but I did want it. Oh I wanted him or her so bad. I just couldn't let my baby grow up without a father. It was hard for me when I was younger. I just couldn't…" Meredith broke down, sobbing uncontrollably.

Izzie held Meredith in her arms and tried to calm her down.

Meredith just cried until she fell asleep.

* * *

Derek drove up to his trailer and slammed his fists against the steering wheel. He got out of the car and screamed, as loud as he could. 

He lost two children in the space of a day.

"Tough day huh?" He heard a familiar voice behind him.

"Addison? What are you doing here?"

"I came to see how you were." Addison said seductively.

"Seriously Addison, go away. I mean it…" Derek said putting his hands up.

"Meredith lied to you; I know you want to be with me." Addison said walking closer to Derek, placing a hand out to touch his face.

"Meredith couldn't tell me because of you. You ruined my life Addison. You slept with my best friend, and because of you I lost my first child." Derek spat the words out in disgust and almost instantly regretted he said that.

"Addison I'm sorry I didn't mean that… but please just leave." Derek said walking into his trailer and slamming the door.

Addison snapped out her phone feeling shocked.

"Mark? I'm coming back." Addison whispered down the phone.

* * *

Derek rested his hands on the shower walls. The warm water running down his back soothed him. He wanted to wash away the pain. He cried, sobbed, he let himself grieve.

* * *

Derek walked into Meredith's room with a bag of slightly healthy take-aways. She saw Izzie holding her as they both slept. 

He gently shook Izzie.

"Hey Izzie, thanks, I can take it from here." Derek said with a nod.

"Derek, she heard you before. She is sorry. She loves you, I hope you see that." Izzie said groggily.

Derek sighed and nodded again.

"See you later Derek." Izzie said as she left the room.

Meredith stirred in her sleep and fluttered her eyes open.

"Izzie?" she mumbled

Derek sat on her bed and held her hand. "It's me Mer"

"Derek?" Meredith said rubbing her eyes.

"Yeah, hungry?" Derek pointed to the bag of food.

"Thanks" Meredith smiled weakly.

"I'm… sorry…" Meredith began to apologise again, tears in her eyes, threatening to spill.

"I know Meredith… I'm really hurt you didn't tell me. But I understand we can get through it all. It'll make us stronger… I think you also deserve to know, Addison came to my trailer today…"

"What? I'm lying here…" Meredith said in a defeated, hurt whisper.

"She wanted to be with me, like take me while I'm vulnerable. But I pushed her away because I love you." Derek held her hand and kissed it.

Meredith took his hand and wrapped it around her and they lay in silence.

Meredith tried to muffle her sobs.

Derek kissed her ear and whispered

"I know, I know. Just let it all out"

Meredith began to sob louder.

"I loved this baby… I hate myself for losing our babies…"

"Shh Mer… Stop blaming yourself..."

"Please, don't… I don't deserve it." Meredith pulled Derek's arm closer to her chest.

"Meredith Grey, I love you. Always and forever."

* * *

**A/N**: Hello! I probably should be asleep or doing homework but again I am not... Sorry about this chapter, I'm not sure how to continue it with Meredith and Derek's relationship still in-tact, but in reality I think we can assume that anyone in that situation would be distraught, depending on the humility and decency of the man, he could be there or not.  
It's hard to make them seem together when well if I were Derek I would be majorly pissed off... but because we live in a land of make-believe... they can be happy, happy... ish... for now...

Hints of Cristina's pregnancy in there, mainly because that was the only problem that she could have that seemed severe enough for Meredith to be on the ground in pain so early on in the pregnancy, she was only about a week pregnant. (6-8 days you can see on a home pregnancy test).

I probably made Addison seem more evil than she is.

Lots of long speechs from Derek, Izzie and Meredith... probably George and Cristina's view on this all next chapter.

Sorry LONG A/N! Thanks for reading!

* * *

**Transparent-Opacity101- **Thanks for the review! Meredith is well... Meredith...! You can be the judge on how well she is coping!

**Tyguysmommy**- Thank-you, I'm glad you like the fic. I was also going to make Cristina like feel sorry and grab his hand or something, but I thought of that after I posted the chapter and couldn't be bothered changing it! Thanks for the review!

**greysfanx3**- Welcome! I'm glad you like my fic and I look forward to reading your future fics :) Thanks for the review!

**AlotLikeMeredith**- Aw that sucks... msn is cool, sometimes, most of the time. My cousin has AOL and I used to have an account and stuff but I got a new computer and don't have it... Are you American? Thanks for the review btw!

**kml57**- I think we can safely say, I ruined the fluff... but then again there was fluffy convos... just no baby... which was actually unexpected for me, someone just suggested I add a bit of drama, so I did. But originally Derek was just going to find out Meredith had an abortion, but then I think I just got a bit carried away. I was then going to make it like she dreamt it, but then I thought that's too predictable... so bye bye Baby Grey-Shepherd for now. George is really lovely... I hope he find's happiness, preferbly not with Callie...

**itzalliballi**- Welcome! Hope you're enjoying the site, and I'm glad you liked my fic! I look forward to reading your future fics (if theyre MerDer!) too. Thanks for the review!

**oth rox**- Any woman in her circumstances would be in distress, but I think she is a fighter really... maybe whines a bit... Thanks for the review!

**Meredith and Derek**- Drama is good, fluff is better :P Isn't Grey's Anatomy a drama anyway! Thanks for the review!

**chaty1**- Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! I really shouldn't be writing at the moment, I have exams in 6 weeks and tonnes of homework... but I'm lazy... work hard in the weekend... Thanks for the review!

**AFan17**- Sorry! But we needed drama... more fluff to come, probably after Derek does a bit more thinking, and they both do some soul searching... Thanks for the review!

**natzbadfairy**- Thanks for the review! I actually think it was quite a clever twist :P

**luv24+Alias**- double ah! Thanks for the review!

* * *

LONG LONG A/N! Thanks for reading everyone! Hope you guys liked it. I will update possible in the weekend, or next week sometime. But this story is far from over, unless you guys want it to be!

Thanks again!

Ja mata!


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Meredith blamed herself for the death of her baby. She thought it was karma, punishment for aborting her first baby. She was discharged from the hospital and given 2 months leave, but she was devastated. She didn't get out of bed; she didn't sleep, or eat. She was falling into a deep depression. She worried everyone. Derek had to be strong for her, but all he felt was hurt, rejection, pain.

* * *

"Meredith…" Derek said softly 

Meredith ignored him, tears rolling down her face.

"Meredith, you have to eat something." Derek stroked her back.

Meredith flinched and gathered her sheets closer around her.

"Derek… I… you… why are you here?" Meredith said closing her eyes and sighing loudly.

"I love you Meredith, that's why I'm here." Derek sat on the edge of her bed not knowing what to say or do. That's what death did; it was the elephant in the room.

"You deserve someone better Derek. I won't blame you if you leave…" Meredith tried to stifle her crying.

"Meredith, I'm not leaving you…." Derek moved to kneel by her bed, so he was looking at her face.

"Derek…" Meredith looked into his eyes, her cheeks tear-stained. She didn't know what to say.

"Please, just leave me alone." Meredith finally said closing her eyes and turning around again.

"Okay… I'm never going to leave you Meredith; I'll be here when you're ready to talk." Derek exited the room closing the door behind him.

* * *

Derek went to Joe's not long after his conversation with Meredith. He thought she was finally going to open up to him, but she didn't and he was out of ideas. 

"Hey Joe, a beer thanks."

"Rough day?" Joe asked placing the beer on a coaster in front of Derek.

"Yeah, rough month, rough year…" Derek said sighing.

"How is Meredith doing?"

"I don't know... She won't talk to me. I think she's a mess. But I can't do anything. I'm out of ideas…" Derek said running his hand through his hair out of frustration.

"Maybe she should see someone… a professional…" Joe suggested while putting some glasses away.

"I don't know. She'll never agree to it, that's for sure…but I think you might be right… Thanks Joe…" Derek put some cash on the bar and left uncertain what to do next.

* * *

"Meredith…" Derek said knocking lightly on her door. 

She was lying in the same position as when he had left a fewhours ago.

"Yeah…" she said emotionlessly.

"I think maybe you should go see someone…" Derek said quietly, fearful that she was going to snap at him.

"I think you need to get out Derek." Meredith said with a hint of anger in her voice.

"Meredith please… I just want you to be happy again." Derek pleaded trying to get close to her.

Meredith sighed. "I don't think I'm going to be happy again Derek, you should go…"

"Okay…" Derek left her room a tear falling down his cheek.

* * *

Izzie saw a gloomy Derek walk down the stairs, looking like he had the life sucked out of him. 

Izzie couldn't handle it anymore. She had seen Derek and Meredith go through so much pain. Derek was trying to mend their relationship,to help Meredithand Meredith just kept pushing him away.

She stormed up the stairs and slammed open Meredith's door.

"What the hell do you think you're doing Meredith?" Izzie yelled standing in the doorway.

"Izzie… go away…" Meredith said monotonously.

"No Meredith, you need to get up and grow up. It's been a month. Yeah I know, you've lost a kid, but so has Derek and all you are doing is pushing him away. He loves you Meredith. Stop moping around and feeling sorry for yourself." Izzie stood with her hands on her hips, breathlessly and looking angry.

Meredith was shaken at the force Izzie took with her and she knew she was right.

"I think you're right Izzie…I'm sorry…" Meredith burst into tears again.

"Oh god Meredith, pull yourself together." Izzie said, slightly more sympathetically and walked over to give Meredith a hug.

"Thanks Izzie…" Meredith smiled weakly.

"Anytime Meredith… you need to sort out McDreamy now… he's been holding it together for you Meredith, but he is in as much pain as you are."

"Yeah I know…" Meredith got up and pulled on some jeans and a jersey.

"Okay, I'm going to work now…" Izzie left her room after giving Meredith an understanding smile.

* * *

Meredith left her house for the first time in weeks. She drove her car to the one place she knew Derek would be. 

He sat on the bench where he found her, so many months ago, before he left Addison.

"Derek…" Meredith softly said standing a few metres away.

"Meredith… what are you doing here…" Derek said moving to lead her over to the bench.

"I came…" Meredith sighed, Izzie finally made her realise how horrible she had been to Derek.

"I came to apologize… for everything… I'm sorry for what I put you through these past few weeks… and I'm sorry about our baby… our babies…" Meredith looked out to the ocean, out at the ferry boats. She closed her eyes, tears sliding down her cheeks.

Derek slightly stroked her head as she leaned into his chest.

"I know" he whispered in her ear.

"I've missed you" Derek mumbled into her hair as he kissed her head.

"I think we should go see someone…" Meredith said sitting up to start a serious conversation.

"Okay. I'll organise something tomorrow." Derek said touching her face.

Meredith closed her eyes as he touched her and leaned into his hand. She covered his hand with hers and smiled weakly.

She leaned towards him and kissed him lightly. She opened her eyes and smiled.

"God… I've really missed you Mer." He moved to kiss her again.

"I love you Derek."

"I love you too Mer."

* * *

**A/N:** Chapter 20! Hope you guys like it. I SHOULD be studying, doing homework... but I'm not... I have become extrememly lazy! Grey's Anatomy is on tomorrow, it's the um... Blue's Sister for Someone ep?... Should be good of course, it always is!

I had a job interview yesterday, I kind of don't want to job though... Oh well, if I get the job then I can afford stuff. I had a fight with my mother too because she won't teach me to drive, and won't pay for lessons...

Anyways... I bought back some fluff at the end of the chapter :P Needed them to reconcile, didn't know how til I finished writing the chapter! Just sort of came out...

**AlotLikeMeredith - **I live in New Zealand! And I hope you know where that is! It's very beautiful here, very green, lots of trees! And yes, we have funny accents... But you might know where, and who we are... I'm just assuming you don't, which is bad, I shouldn't make assumptions. Thanks for the great review, I tried to make it so it painted a vivid image of Meredith wandering around aimlessly... hopefully did that!

**Omlet-Toast- **I'm glad you like it! It's very distracting... fanfics... Thanks for the review!

**luv24+Alias **- It was quite sad last chapter, maybe in the future Meredith will have another baby, but it's got to hurt, losing two kids. I must've been out of it when I wrote that chapter! Thanks for the review!

**Meredith and Derek **- Haha, very true! We all watch Grey's Anatomy for the interactions between the characters, the fluff, their lives... and then the medical stuff reminds us that it's a medical show... I watch it for MerDer, and McDreamy... I hope they win the emmy for best Drama though, I like Sandra Oh better... but both her and Chandra are good actress'. Too bad McDreamy or Meredith weren't nominated. The 2-part bomb ep was good, hope emmy for that too! Emmy's all round!

**chaty1 -** I wanted it to make it so that Derek was still mad at Meredith because she didn't tell him about the first child, but then I couldn't really find a way to incorporate that into the fact that Derek is a nice guy and does the right thing. But who knows, his anger that Meredith decieved him could still pop up! Thanks for the review!

**kml57 **- I didn't want to kill the baby! But I didn't know what else it could be because she was only pregnant for about a week and early signs of pain etc. indicate like miscarrage/ ectopic pregnancy... RIP baby Grey-Shepherd... Derek is doing the right thing, like always... which is annoying because he does the "right thing" by choosing Addison because of the wedding vows... Thanks for the review!

**natzbadfairy **- Thanks for the review! I don't want to update soon, because that means less school work and I should be studying... but I probably will update in the week!

Anyway... Time for bed now... wait no shower! its 11pm on Sunday night. I have school tomorrow too! Oh well, I really wanted to finish this!

Night all!


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

"I'll see you at home." Derek said opening Meredith's car door for her.

"I'll see you at home." Meredith repeated smiling softly at Derek.

* * *

Meredith drove down the road and turned into her street, closely followed by Derek. In her rear-view mirror she saw a break glimpse of Derek's car loosing control and sliding towards the sidewalk, screeching to a halt. 

"Oh my god…" Meredith parked her car along the side of the road and ran over to Derek.

"Derek?" Meredith frantically opened his car door.

"Oh my god. Are you okay?" Meredith asked tears prickling the back of her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I don't know what happened… It's pretty slippery I guess…"

Meredith whacked Derek's arm and glared at him angrily.

"Hey!" Derek protested, trying to shield himself from Meredith's violent hits.

"Don't. You. Dare. Do. That. Again." Meredith said in between hits

"You scared the crap out of me." Meredith said finally stopping the vicious attack.

"Geez Meredith, you killed my arm there." Derek said with a grin.

Meredith rested her forehead against his and closed her eyes. Derek closed his eyes and smiled. Meredith was back. She grabbed his hand and held it to her heart. It was beating rapidly. He stepped out of the car and pulled Meredith close to him and kissed her forehead.

"Come on, we can walk home." Derek said signalling that his car had actually slide into a convenient parking space.

"Are you sure you are okay? Do we need to go to the hospital?" Meredith asked anxiously.

"I'm fine Mer but I think my arm is a little bruised…"

Meredith hit his arm playfully.

"Yeah you're lucky I didn't do more." Meredith said waving her finger at him warningly.

"I'm glad you're back Meredith." Derek said hugging Meredith closer.

"We have things to talk about still, but things are better… just don't leave…" Meredith rested her head on his shoulder.

"I'm not going anywhere." Derek replied as they walked up to her front porch.

Derek stood outside as Meredith walked in, not knowing if he should come in or not.

"Hey, Mer… I'm going to head back to the trailer tonight…"

"No, Derek… stay, please… you can't drive on the icy roads…" Meredith held out her hand.

Derek smiled and kissed her hand gently before entering the house.

"Meredith, you're okay now?" George asked sitting on the stool eating a cupcake Izzie had made.

"I'm better… thanks George." she gave George a quick hug before heading up to her room to change, Derek close behind her.

Derek sat on Meredith's bed, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Are you okay Derek?" Meredith asked taking off her top

"Yeah I'm just tired…" Derek answered opening his eyes to see Meredith pacing around the room in her underwear, searching for her Dartmouth top.

"I'm quite tired too; I haven't had much sleep these few weeks… Why don't we just sleep?" Meredith walked over and sat on his lap while putting on her top.

"Mmm, sounds really good." Derek answered kissing her lightly.

Meredith rolled over to her side of the bed and snuggled in under the sheets. Not long after she felt a strong arm around her waist and she felt finally at home again.

Meredith turned around and hugged closer to his chest. She had almost forgotten his musky scent.

* * *

Meredith woke up in an empty bed; she padded her way to the bathroom where she heard the shower running. 

"Derek? You're up early…What did you want for breakfast?" Meredith asked stifling a yawn.

"Mer, you're up" Derek answered poking his head around the shower door.

Meredith sat on the closed toilet and nodded her head.

"If you're still tired, you can go back to sleep you know."

"I'm okay; I can't get back to sleep now." Meredith replied with a small smile.

"Breakfast?" Meredith asked again

"No offence Mer, but your cooking sucks. Maybe I'll cook for you when I'm finished." Derek replied with a cheeky grin.

Meredith yawned again. "Fine, actually I'm going to get some more rest"

Derek stuck his head out of the shower again and smiled, water drops dripping on the ground.

Meredith gave Derek a lazy kiss and walked back to bed, collapsing on the bed and instantly falling asleep.

Derek walked out a few minutes later, hair still damp and towel wrapped around his waist. He watched Meredith sleep peacefully. He smiled and rummaged around quietly for his clothes.

"Derek…" Meredith mumbled

"Sorry Mer, didn't mean to wake you…"

"Come back to bed and hold me…" Meredith slurred, turning to face his side of the bed.

"Okay" Derek smiled. "Just for you" he whispered in her ear as he slipped under the covers.

* * *

Derek didn't really sleep holding Meredith. He lay there watching her and remembering how much he loved her, despite all her faults. It was her faults that made her so special. Meredith twitched in her sleep and mumbled something about being sorry. He knew it was about the babies. He felt a lot of pain when he found out about the first child, but couldn't blame anyone and the second child was absolutely no-one's fault. Derek crept out of bed and flipped open his cell phone. 

"Richard. It's Derek. Can I get you to make an appointment to see Dr. Dustin at 2? Thanks. I will look after her. Bye"

"Derek…" Meredith groped around the empty side of the bed.

Derek walked back over to the bed and slid back under the sheets.

"Who was that?" Meredith said resting her head on his chest.

"Dr. Webber, we have an appointment at 2…" Derek said stroking her hair absentmindedly.

"Oh… Okay…" Meredith got out of bed and stretched, the sun warming her face.

She turned around and kissed Derek's forehead.

"I'm going to have a shower. Then we can have lunch…"

* * *

Meredith walked out the shower towel wrapped around her body. Derek was sitting up in bed, fiddling on his laptop. 

"Hey you've finished" He said looking up at a nearly naked Meredith.

"Uhuh… I'm thinking let's go out for lunch…" Meredith said cocking her head to one side and hand resting on her hip.

"Sounds good. Anywhere particular?"

"Close to the hospital so we can make our appointment, but anywhere is good" Meredith smiled and went to find some clothes. It was like they were settling into a pattern again. It scared Meredith how easy it was just to get back into a normal routine, but at the same time it comforted her, to know that Derek was by her side. She felt Derek hug her back and his hands running down her arms up and down lightly.

She turned around and looked into his blue eyes and kissed him, as he deepened the kiss she pulled away.

"I'm sorry Derek, I'm just not ready yet…" Meredith said quickly busying herself trying to find clothes; fighting away the tears.

"Meredith…" Derek softly said

Meredith turned around and put on a brave face and weakly smiled.

"I'm fine. I'm really sorry Derek…"

"You can stop apologising. I love you and I understand." Derek gave her a reassuring smile and went to get ready himself.

* * *

Meredith placed her hand light on Derek's leg as they drove to a small café by the hospital. 

Meredith stared outside the window of the café, daydreaming and poking her salad with her fork.

"You alright Meredith?" Derek asked

Meredith didn't hear him and continued to stare outside the window.

"Meredith…"

"Oh… sorry what?"

"Are you okay?" Derek asked

"Oh yeah I'm fine." Meredith replied looking at her salad which was looking a bit dead.

"Mer…" Derek questioned knowing for sure she wasn't just okay.

"I'm just a bit anxious about seeing Dr. Dustin…" Meredith said with a small smile. "I'm okay really…"

"Don't be nervous… I'll be with you." Derek placed his hand over hers and grinned.

* * *

"Hi, I'm Dr. Elizabeth Dustin. You must be Dr. Shepherd" She held her hand out to Derek and shook it. "And you must be Dr. Grey" She said doing the same to Meredith. 

"I understand you wanted to talk to me... Maybe we should start from the beginning…" Dr. Dustin sat across on a chair across Derek and Meredith with a friendly smile. She waited patiently for one of them to speak.

"Yes. I don't know if you know what we have been through…?" Derek looked at Meredith to see if it was okay to proceed. Meredith nodded weakly.

"Well we started off as a one night stand. Then I found out she was an intern here. I kind of pestered her until she went out with me. We were a couple for a few months until… my wife… now ex-wife turned up… I caught her sleeping with my best friend and moved here. Things were rocky. I thought I owed my marriage another shot… I was wrong. I loved Meredith… so much… and…" Derek stopped out of breath and looking a bit frazzled.

"And then we got together. I got pregnant. I told Derek about the other child that I aborted because Derek and Addison were still together… and I lost my child a few weeks ago." Meredith finished trying not to cry.

"That must be hard on both of you. I understand you have been dealing with grief, both of you, but I sense there are some underlying problems as well." Dr. Dustin scribbled some notes on her paper. "Have you talked about what happened when Derek chose Addison?"

"Yes…" They both answered slightly unsure.

"To some extent... Derek knows how he made me feel. But what I haven't been able to say is…" Meredith sighed and closed her eyes.

"I haven't fully trusted Derek since then. I love him… but sometimes I'm scared he will leave again. And that our relationship has so many lies…"

Derek sat silently, having an out-of-body experience.

"Derek, do you have anything to say?" asked Dr. Dustin.

"I don't know what to say anymore. I have apologised profusely. I trust Meredith, but because she didn't tell me about our child…"

"Derek, I was looking at raising our child ALONE. You chose Addison…" Meredith said in an angry whisper.

"You had a right to tell me!" Derek retorted.

"You had a right to tell me you had a wife!"

"We were separated. I was going to tell you!" Derek raised his hands exasperatedly, as if calling on god for assistance.

"Okay, it seems like you both have trust issues. This big thing is. Do you want to make this work?" Dr. Dustin asked taking off her black rimmed glasses.

"Yes! I love Meredith" Derek answered looking shocked she would ask such a thing.

"Meredith?" Dr. Dustin looked at Meredith who had suddenly gone quiet.

"I don't know… this has opened up so many things… Is love enough?" Meredith whispered quietly.

* * *

**A/N:** I don't know what I'm really writing! Sorry, it's pretty crap and it seems like it's going around in circles... but I'm writing the next chapter and something is going to happen I hope... if I write it correctly... 

**Meredith and Derek**- Thanks for the review. I really think Patrick Dempsey and Ellen Pompeo deserved to be nominated for an Emmy. Wasn't Patrick Dempsey nominated for a Golden Globe last year?

**Heather0120**- Thanks for the review! There was fluff at the start of this chapter, I'm sorry it's not very good!

**natzbadfairy**- They're ment to be together but there are so many obstacles in their relationship. Also I mean Derek can't be that a great guy, you know if he's trying to make his marriage work, why didn't he tell Meredith to start with? Why didn't he try right from the start? I don't know... Thanks for the review though!

**luv24+Alias**- Thanks thanks thanks :P

**greysfanx3**- Indeed they do! I think I've read every single MerDer fic on here! We need more... thanks for the review!

**chaty1- **Thanks for the review.I figured Izzie would do something like that because she went psycho at Meredith when she found out she was dating/ sleeping with Derek. Though Cristina would probably do something like that too... well maybe not, Cristina is more sarcastic, bitter...

**kml57**- Oooo vacation. Where are you from? Us Nzers would probably call it a holiday :) I'm going to Japan in 2 months! And HOPEFULLY... fingers crossed I get into geek camp... I know... geeky... it's a science and technology forum in a different city for 2 weeks... Where did you go for your vacation? Anyway... Thanks for the review!

**AFan17**- I'll try to write more fluff! I really like fluff, but I suppose it's true that we need drama to make it interesting... Thanks for the review!

Thanks for reading :)


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

"Look at you and Addison, you loved each other… My mother… she loved Dr. Webber… I want to be with you Derek. I love you so much. But our past, there have been so many lies…" tears falling down her eyes, she stared at her hands.

"Will you ever be able to get past this?" Dr. Dustin scribbled some more notes down.

"I hope so…" Meredith answered with a weak smile. "Maybe it's something I have to figure out. I want him to hold me, touch me, kiss me, but I'm scared I'll wake up and he's gone."

"I won't Meredith." Derek said tears forming in his eyes.

"I think the best thing for you two is to go away. Remember what you love about each other and talk to each other." Dr. Dustin said putting on her glasses.

"That's it for this week. I'll recommend to Richard that you go away for a few weeks and I'll see you when you get back" Dr. Dustin smiled and showed Meredith and Derek to the door.

"Thank you" Derek said politely.

* * *

"That was interesting." Derek said to a quiet Meredith. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah… I just remember some things..." Meredith sighed and smiled weakly. "I'll be okay. I love you Derek…"

"I love you… We're going to book tickets to go somewhere. Somewhere far…" Derek said hands gripping the steering wheel tightly.

"Yeah…" Meredith ran her fingers through her hair.

"Anywhere you want to go?" Derek asked not knowing what to do, what to say.

"Maybe somewhere different… New Zealand?" Meredith said remembering that once she had a patient from there.

"New Zealand? Is that by Australia?" Derek asked tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

"Yeah… heard it's beautiful…" Meredith rested her head against the window and closed her eyes.

"Okay, I'll book the tickets asap" Derek lightly stroked Meredith's hair.

"Sounds awesome…" Meredith mumbled drifting into a light sleep.

* * *

"I'm going for a run Derek." Meredith said walking into the kitchen in her running gear. She gave Derek a quick peck on the cheek. 

"Oh okay, you want company?" Derek said holding her close, placing a hand gently on her hip.

Meredith smiled and placed a hand on his cheek feeling the stubble tickle her palm. Meredith moved closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Can we just start again?" Meredith whispered in his ear, nuzzling his cheek.

She stood up straight.

"Hi I'm Meredith Grey." Meredith plastered a big grin on her face and stuck out her hand,

Derek laughed and shook her hand. "I'm Dr. Derek Shepherd."

"Doctor… am I supposed to be impressed by that?" Meredith raised an eyebrow chuckling quietly.

"Hmmm I don't know, usually it impresses people." Derek pulled Meredith closer.

"I think I should tell you… I'm not like normal people…" Meredith kissed him on the lips; quick as if they would do it for the rest of their lives.

"I'm still going for my run… alone…" Meredith turned around and picked up her water bottle off the table.

"Okay, don't forget your cell phone." Derek watched Meredith walk away, her ass wiggling slightly. He chuckled and rested and hoisted himself on the bench to watch her.

"I know you're staring at my ass… stop it…" Meredith announced as she was walking out the door. She flashed him a quick smile and ran out the door.

Derek chuckled to himself and ran his fingers through his hair. _God, she's a handful… and amazing handful…_

* * *

Meredith ran around the block, quickening her pace fast. The adrenalin pumped through her veins and she momentarily forgot everything; her mother, the hospital, the babies, Derek. 

Panting heavily she stopped at a park nearby, taking a long drink from her water bottle.

"Hey" she heard a deep voice behind her. "Did you drop this?"

Meredith turned around slightly surprised.

"Sorry, did I startle you?" The man smiled holding Meredith's cell phone.

_Oh god…_ Meredith thought. The man was pretty good looking. He too was in a running outfit. A tight singlet outlining his chest; his face defined; his eyes deep and sparkling.

"Oh no… thanks" Meredith accepted politely smiling.

"Hi, I'm Finn. Finn Dandridge."

"Um, Meredith… Grey" Meredith shook his hand awkwardly and smiled.

"Did you want to get a cup of coffee…?" Finn asked gesturing towards the café down the road.

"Oh sorry… I've actually got a … Sorry I have to go…Thanks for the phone" Meredith smiled politely and jogged back towards her house.

* * *

Meredith closed the front door behind her and walked into the kitchen as she entered the house, glistening with sweat from her run. 

Derek walked down the stairs to greet Meredith with a kiss.

"How was your run?" Derek asked pouring her a drink.

"Hey, some guy just hit on me…" Meredith smiled with a slightly confused expression on her face.

"Should I be worried, Meredith?" Derek raised an eyebrow while grabbing an apple from the bowl nearby.

Meredith grinned and gave him a quick peak before heading for a shower.

* * *

**A/N**- Oh so I made it kinda fluffy... sue me!... Actually please don't I'm only a poor poor student... I love you Shonda... LOL! Sorry I haven't updated in a long time and that this chapter is short! I've been really busy with heaps of stuff. Kind of too much to name but just REALLY busy plus I hav exams in a month that I SHOULD be studying for... but am not... opps... Yeah so hoped you enjoyed this chapter, sorry it's short, reviews please:P. But isn't season 3 good? We haven't had season 2 on dvd out here yet and I don't know whent season 3 will be on out here on TV but I dont' expect it to be for a while so I just watch on net :) 

**AlotLikeMeredith- **Heya, how is your book coming along? We're actually doing creative writing next week. Might write about disneyland lol. Thanks for the review :P

**Heather0120**- Thanks for reviewing so long ago! Yes Meredith just said that lol, but I THINK, I hope I kind of made a good connection back into the fluff because I kind of dug myself into a hole... hehe

**kml57**- I haven't heard the place where you went to vacation, probably because I'm stuck here... hehe I added New Zealand into my storyline. Sorry just had to! I didn't get chosen for geek camp... I cried hehe, but I'm over it now. Things happen for a reason ay, and I'm trying to get into one down south now. Hopefully I'll get in! Thanks for the review :)

**natzbadfairy**- I know they are so destined to be together! Stupid Derek needs to just get over it and be like oh yes Meredith I love you, lets have babies. (I mean on the show of course!) Thanks for the review

**greysfanx3**- I'm sorry I broke your heart! I like fluffy-ness Meredith will come to her senses... maybe... she sort of did this chapter... Thanks for the review

**chaty1**- Thank you! I must say I just re-read the last chapter, and I do like the end of that. Especially when they fought about Derek not knowing about the baby and Meredith retorting by saying she didn't know about Addison! hehe. Thanks for the review

**luv24+Alias**- Sorry it's been ages since I last updated! But I'm glad you liked it and there was no fighting here, although interesting additon of a new character. Will he be around? I don't know just yet :P.Thanks for the review

**ilajkajas2215**- You see, I'm a bit sinical when it comes to love. Not a true believer... until I experience it and I haven't because the boys that I attract are weird... LOL... hoped you liked this chapter! Thanks for the review :)


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

Meredith sat on the edge of her bed, drying her hair when she heard the door creak open. She turned her head slightly to catch a view of the person, guess it was Derek.

"Hey you" Meredith smiled turning back to intently dry her hair, pretending that things were fine.

"So, I booked the tickets." Derek basically purred in her ear as he drew little circles on her shoulder and traced her collarbone with his finger.

"Did you now?" Meredith stood up and walked towards her dress to put on a cardie over her PJs. She walked back to the bed and sat next to him, hesitating before lying down and resting her head on his lap.

Meredith sighed and turned around so she was looking at him.

Derek smiled and stroked her hair lightly.

"What are you thinking?" Meredith asked when a smile formed on his lips.

"Nothing, I'm just… nothing" Derek said.

"Are you sure…" Meredith mumbled closing her eyes and snuggling into Derek's lap.

"Yeah, I'm just thinking about… everything… you know, life, love…" Derek sighed and looked down at Meredith to find her snoring lightly on his lap.

"Sleep tight Mer" Derek said laying her gently on their bed, kissing her forehead.

* * *

Meredith didn't need to go to the hospital, yet of course, Murphy's Law, she was unfortunately up early. Derek was fast asleep an arm draped lightly over her waist. She wriggled away from him carefully and padded her way down the stairs. "You're up early, "mumbled Izzie through a mouthful of coffee. "Aren't you supposed to be on a 2 week break or something?" 

George shuffled in behind Meredith and plonked himself down beside Izzie.

"Yeah aren't those tickets to New Zealand?" George asked pointing to the counter.

Meredith smiled weakly and opened the tickets. Two tickets to New Zealand, leaving late morning. The colour in her face drained, she had less than half a day to pack for a two week trip. She was going to kill Derek.

"Ah Mer, are you okay?" Izzie asked nudging her shoulder as she placed her cup in the sink.

When Meredith didn't reply, Izzie took the tickets out of her hand.

"Derek is in the doghouse for this one" she laughed and made her way up to her room.

"What?" George asked mouthful of cereal.

"Derek. Is. An. Idiot. That's what. I have a few hours to pack for a two week trip." Meredith ran her hand through her hair.

"I have to pack. Crap. I have to pack." Meredith rambled on looking very stressed. She ran up the stairs to her room.

"Derek Shepherd. I. Am. Going. To. Kill. You." Meredith yelled throwing a pillow at his head.

"Mer… no death threats before breakfast please" Derek winced sitting up watching Meredith run around madly.

"What are you doing?" Derek asked rubbing his eyes.

"Get up." Meredith threw some clothes at him.

"What?"

"Get up. We have approximately 6 hours until our flight and with the airport and terrorist and crap that means we have like 4 hours or something" Meredith rambled on still frantically searching. "Damnit, where is my suitcase."

"Meredith. Chill, we have plenty of time." Derek said calmly grabbing hold of Meredith and kissing her forehead lightly.

"That's what you say now Derek Shepherd. But when you're missing underwear don't come crying to me" Meredith giggled wriggling out of his grasp.

Derek laughed and groaned lying back down in bed.

"Get up Derek!" Meredith yelled gathering things to pack

* * *

"Derek, we are going to be late!" Meredith yelled up the stairs waiting for him to come down. 

Derek bounded down the stairs with a cheeky grin and kissed Meredith on the cheek.

"Alright, alright, let's go." Cristina mumbled. She had reluctantly agreed to take them to the hospital because a. it was her day off and b. Meredith was screaming down the phone at her and the only way for her to shut up was to agree to whatever she was incoherently babbling.

"I'm still mad at you." Meredith poked her tongue out at Derek and jabbed his chest with a finger.

"You know you love me" Derek grinned putting the luggage in the car.

"Shut up before I puke" Cristina moaned getting in the drivers seat.

Meredith laughed and as they pulled out their driveway she flipped out her cell to give Izzie a cal, giving her a list of instructions of what to do including a clean up after your own parties and don't break my stuff lecture.

2 hours later, Meredith and Derek were boarding the flight to New Zealand.

* * *

A/N: Hey guys! Sorry about the lack of updates. Sorry it's a pretty bad chapter too and short. I shouldn't have made them go to New Zealand. It's lame actually now that I think about it and Finn... well we'll see... I really want to make Meredith fall for him but yeah we'll see... 

It's been pretty hectic at school and I've had exams these past 2 weeks. Last one is NEXT Weds which REALLY sucks. Happy notes about my life that I feel I need to share hehe... I got my hair cut, and because you guys have never seen me before. I used to have long hair. Like past shoulder and I got it cut all off to like REALLY short- not even long enough to tie up short. And then I got a blondey-ginger (yuck)-browny streak in it (I have pretty black hair btw.) Ummm I got prizes for my subjects at school, Math, Chem, Music, Japanese, Music Honours and Karsten Scholarship (top 4 in school, got some money!) but my exams have gone horrible... horrible...

I am soo glad Derek and Mer are ONNN!!! Last ep was sad. They're playing complications of the heart or whatever on Sun so that is going to be AWESOME!

That's it for now... hehe... it's getting late and I'm sleepy! I might try get another chappy up in the next few days. Thanks for reading.

Oh I'm having trouble deciding what to write as well (after my next idea) so does anyone want to become my writing partner?

**NaleyOTH23**- Hey I'm glad you like the fic! The people (as in the readers) asked for drama because they were all sick of fluff, personally I love fluff so yes I spiced it up a little. Thanks for reading.

**chocolatetree**- Well hello fellow NZer! Hey go on youtube and watch them. That's what I do! And complications of the heart is airing on Sunday, 7:30 TV2! hehe So season 3 shouldn't be too far... and season 2 is expected to come out on DVD before Christmas I am told, but I think they are lying to me... I sat/ am sitting lvl2. It's very hard. I certainly mucked up all my exams, like seriously. Level 1 is a piece of cake, walk in the park compared to lvl 2! OOOOO I got into my science thing. Hands-on in Otago, I'm doing the Pharmacology and Toxicology project. I am determined to say it will be better than the Auckland one. Btw I'm from good old CHCH. I do watch House, erm America's Next Top Model, (DH and Lost yes but they're not as good as the 1st seasons whereas Grey's just gets better!), Alias... that's really all I like. The only show that I would seriously have to stay at home and watch and make sure I watch every single episode is Greys though. Anyways its 12:30am now... Thanks for reading! Maybe you would like to become my writing partner! NZers pairing up!!!

**Meredith and Derek**- Meredith has become control-freak, anal in this chapter! It was more a filler because I kinda ran outa ideas so I just wrote something and yeah... Sorry! Thanks for the review though!

**.x.out.of.my.mind.x.**- Hey, I am from the Delta Forum, but I haven't been in AGES. Thanks for reading.

**chaty1**- Thanks for the review, I'm sorry about the poor quality of this chapter. I have a few ideas planned though.

**greysaddict4life**- aw I'm sorry. But we need drama as well as fluff otherwise I'll get bad reviews which I got for my other fic which I'm a little bitter about but everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and she/he was a Addek fan. Thanks for the review!

**luv24+Alias**- Hello my loyal reader! Thanks for the review, I have a few plans for Finn still...

**natzbadfairy**- Another loyal reader! I'm trying to reestablish their stablity at the moment because I think it's too fake for them just to be all hunky-dory (lol) so I think Meredith's obsessiveness in this chapter is sort of hiding her real pain and just shes trying to keep herself busy so she doesn't have to remember. Plus Derek is an idiot and booked the flights and didn't tell Meredith when the flights were... Thanks for reading!

**Heather0120**- MerDer is just TOO cute, I saw the bath scene. Oh god I thought I died and went to Grey's Anatomy heaven... Sorry for not updating sooner, I had a lot to do but now it's ALMOST my summer hols so I will update more often providing I have good ideas. Thanks for the review!

**ilajkajas2215**- Yay for my loyal fans who think my writing is good. Now I hope the NCEA markers will think my bullshitting in my English exam is good! Love is overrated. I'm too much of a pessimist to believe that love exsists. But you are very true, that is why we have MerDer :P. Thanks for reading!

Time for me to go. It is now 12:36am and I am wiped. Well not really I slept for most of today :P.

Thanks for reading.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

_Goodbye Seattle _Meredith thought as the plane lifted off into the air. She turned in her seat, as big as "first class" was; it was still a cramped aeroplane with circulated air conditioning. Derek mumbled in his sleep. Meredith pulled the little blanket closer to herself and turned her back to Derek. She sighed, trying to lull her self into a sleep.

"Meredith…" Derek practically purred in her ear.

"Yeah" Meredith answered still facing the window.

"You know what I've always wanted to try…" Derek kissed her neck suggestively.

"Not today Derek, I'm not feeling well" Meredith lied through her teeth and pulled that little blanket just a little closer around her.

"What's wrong?" Derek asked now, the concern laced in his voice.

"Nothing to worry about. I'm fine. Seriously. I just don't feel like having sex…"As soon as that fable excuse escaped her lips she wanted to slap herself. Since when did she not want to have sex? Of course, unless she was withholding it from Derek. He was bound to see through her lie.

"Um alright…" Derek dropped it. She would tell her when she was ready, he hoped.

* * *

_Mommy? Mommy? Why didn't you want me?_

Meredith woke up in a cold sweat, tears flowing down her cheeks. She sat up straight completely startled by the dream. Dazed and confused gasping for air. She raised her hand to her forehead and tried to calm herself down.

"Mer?" Derek questioned. He touched her arm lightly.

"Hey it was just a dream…" Derek said stroking her back as she cried.

"Breathe" Derek instructed. He had no idea what was going through her mind. But it scared him. It hurt him to see her so petrified.

"Derek…" Meredith croaked. "It was so real." She said after she had calmed down a bit.

"What was real?" Derek asked softly brushing a strand of hair from her face.

"Her voice…" Meredith said glancing up quickly into Derek's eyes.

He saw fear. Meredith clung tightly to one of Derek's arm and sobbed lightly again.

"Mer, it's alright." Derek held on to Meredith and kissed the top of her head.

They sat in silence and Meredith closed her eyes. Derek thought she had fallen asleep. Derek kissed her head again and held her tight. What he saw was so real, so painful. He had never seen anyone in that much pain. Sure, he was a surgeon, he saw people in physical pain. But no-one had matched the amount of emotional pain he saw in Meredith's eyes that moment she glanced at her.

"I heard her voice Derek. She asked me why I didn't want her." Meredith whispered.

Dread filled Derek as he now knew what Meredith dreamt. She had dreamt of her child.

"Mer, oh god Mer. I love you. There's nothing we can do anymore. I know it hurts, but Mer, we just have to I don't know… live."

"Don't you think I don't know that?" Meredith said in an angry whisper.

"But you don't have to live with it. I live with regret every day. I live everyday knowing that I killed my children. I live with the guilt that I killed my children. What kind of mother does that? What kind of person does that?" Meredith spat out tears rolling down her cheek.

Derek looked sympathetically at Meredith and cupped her face. Brushing the tears off her cheeks.

"Meredith. It's not all your fault. I shouldn't have left you. I shouldn't have yelled at you. It's my fault too. I live with that too."

"I… I…" Meredith broke down again and cried in Derek's arms.

"We can heal and grieve together. I love you Meredith. So much it hurts to see you like this. It's not anyone's fault Mer. It just happened and now there's nothing we can do."

Meredith took his hand in hers and looked up at Derek. He too had tears in his eyes. She wiped his cheek and kissed him softly on the mouth.

"I will always love you Derek, even when I try not to. Promise me you will be there with me, for me."

"Always."

* * *

**A/N:** My mother banned me from the internet before, so I wrote another chapter hehe. I watched the last episode of Grey's a few days ago. It was so sad. (And there were no MerDer moments which was a bit sad too). I put a lot of effort into this chapter so I hope you guys like it! It's quite emotional, and I feel at the moment, they aren't getting anywhere with this whole, baby stuff. So yeah it's moving forward. 

**larimausi**** -** new reader of my fic yes? I'm glad you like it.

**natzbadfairy**- My loyal reader. I am glad you like it! I posted it on another forum, I'm not getting any replies so I feel neglected, but I must say the first few chapters aren't as good I think.

**chocolatetree**- Hey fellow NZer, I'm not sure what sights Mer and Der should see... I'm thinking, Queenstown. I've never been, but it's the tourist resort, Christchurch of course. And then head up to the North Island, prob Rotorua, Auckland, Wellington- down to Queen St. and that fountain that spits... the water thing... that's on Cuba ay?

I have my last exam tomorrow, no Weds. I'm going in tomorrow to get help thats right. It's music... stupid music which I think I am going to fail because it's like impossible to do. It's expected that 40-53 are going to fail, thats out of the whole of New Zealand... See now that's just not right! I only did 3 papers last year in Science, well our school only does 3 external, we don't do Geology or um Astronomy. I only take 2 Sciences this year and next year. I don't think you have to state what number topic you write... It says on the paper that that page isn't marked... I'll have a look at my paper from last year now... well the 2005 lvl papers don't say, but I'm sure my lvl2 English papers said that. English is lame anyway. I got 2 E last year in English and I'm pretty bad at English (but I did get a prize for it last year... but I got prizes for all my subs...). Formal writing is the best, you don't have to prepare anything! It's an internal standard in year 12 though. No more English for me FOREVER! Unless I fail these externals which is possible considering they were bad...

Complications of the Heart was very good, but I was sitting there like thinking yay Mer and Der get back togetttheeerrrr... I watched the Oprah ep on youtube, very very cute.  
I don't have the albums... but I have heaps of the songs from the show. I saw the calendar but it was $28 but I am a poor student... I hope Season 2 is out soon. I want to watch!

Oooo my sister just sent me a text telling me she sent me a Xmas gift... I wonder what it is...

They prob have a break over Xmas so the actors can have a break from filming to spend Xmas with their family.

See I look like I'm a lot younger than I am, but now that I chopped all my hair off I look older. Apparently NOW I look like I'm 17. But I'm really short... I don't think I'm 150cm...

Aw you're 15... so young... I'm going to boogie nights for my 18th hehe.

If you really wanna become writing partners we should start a new account thing and write something together!

Do you have msn? I don't think these things like saying emails over here... so erm...it's a hotmail account and it's emmy em 565  
Anyways, this is longer than the chapter I think!!! Hope you liked it.

**chaty1**- Hey loyal reader and reviewer. Thanks for reviewing! I hope you like this chapter. Lots of emotion here.

**Cheers guys!**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

"Mer… Mer wake up we're here" Derek softly shook Meredith. She had finally fallen asleep after their big discussion while Derek couldn't sleep. There was too much to think about to sleep. When he decided not to think anymore, he flicked on the on-flight entertainment.

"Oh… okay" Meredith mumbled voice full of sleep.

They stepped off the plane hand in hand in utter silence not knowing what to say to each other. The luggage claim, taxi ride, and walk to the hotel they remained silent.

"Mer?" Derek finally broke the silence as they entered their hotel room.

"Yeah" Meredith answered rather monotonously sitting down on the bed.

"I don't know what to say. All I know is I love you and I'll do anything for you." Derek said exasperatedly. It seemed like they were on a downward spiral and he had to try and put it back on track. He loved Meredith that every time he was without her he longed to be with her, even if it was just for a second. He loved her so much that it ached to see her this way.

"Thanks Derek. I'll be okay really. I'm fine; I'm just tired is all. Planes aren't my thing…" She smiled weakly. She stood up and kissed his forehead gently. She pressed her forehead against his and closed her eyes. Derek held her small waist close to his body. He knew when she said she was fine, she really wasn't.

"I love you Derek" Meredith whispered tenderly. "Wait for me."

_Wait for me to heal_

"Of course" Derek stared into her eyes and saw the fear once again and knew he had to be strong.

"I just need some time." Meredith broke their trance and walked over to unpack.

"I was thinking we should head out and see some sights tomorrow" Meredith said trying to make the trip more than just about herself. They were there on holiday, she needed to try and just forget about everything for one minute and remember she was lucky she had an amazing man with her.

"That sounds wonderful Mer. I'll run you a bath." Derek knew she was repressing it again, but they were on holiday. When they got back, he would talk to Meredith into talking to Dr. Dustin about it. Derek walked over to their bathroom filled the big, white tub. He added some lavender oil into the bath, lavender calmed Meredith down, but it was more for himself. Lavender reminded Derek of the happy Meredith.

"Oh that looks fantastic Derek. Thank you." Meredith kissed him on the cheek and took off her clothes before sliding down into the warm water.

Derek took her lavender shampoo and poured some into his palm before rubbing it into her hair and massaging her scalp.

"Mmm, what did I do to deserve you?" Meredith smiled finally relaxing

"I think the real question is: what did I do to deserve **you**?" Derek replied grinning.

"Dr. Shepherd, flattery will…"

"Get me nowhere? I beg to differ; I think you want me right now." Derek interrupted now rubbing body wash down Meredith's back.

Meredith laughed.

"You're lucky I love you Dr. Shepherd."

* * *

**A/N:** Just a filler for tonight really (a little porny... lol). I just wanted to post something. I started on the next chapter and that will hopefully be up in the next few days. I also started a new fice and hopefully the first chapter of that will be up tonight... My other fic, I'm planning on writing another chapter too, in the next few days. I'm trying to make them happy MerDer again. I thought of a good dramatic scene to add in too. But it would be a bit too much if I chucked it in now. So I will have some happier MerDer stuff, then some drama later. It's hard also, I haven't lost a child. But Meredith (in my story) lost 2, and it's hard! So I'm not sure how she is going to heal. But she will- and if anyone has ideas, feel free too tell me! 

That's all for now.

**tayababy**- I think you are a first time reader? Thanks for reviewing! I really appreciate it! No NZ stuff here, but there is some in the next chapter :)

**chaty1**- Derek is just too hot to say no to :P So it's only natural that Meredith feels better with him! Love your reviews. They make my day!

**Heather0120**- hehe... I was typing your username thingy, and I wrote heater. Sorry I thought that was funny! Yay, I'm glad you thought it was sad. I mean I don't like sad Meredith. But I'm glad that it showed emotion... if you get where I'm coming from... Thanks for reviewing :)

**natzbadfairy**- I love a good MerDer fic. Unfortunately I don't class mine as good, just a way to occupy my time :P Thanks for the review. :P

**kml57**- I don't think this chapter is as sad... and the next definately is not as sad! Thanks for reviewing.

Cheers guys! Flick me a review and happy reading :)


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

Derek woke to find Meredith kissing his down his jaw line.

"That's a nice wake-up call… Good morning to you too" Derek said pulling Meredith to kiss her lips. He deepened the kiss and rolled over to pin her under him. Meredith squirmed under him trying to get free, but she surrendered and continued to let him devour her.

They lay tangled in each other's arms as the light peeked through the curtains.

"I like it here" Meredith said breaking their comfortable silence.

"Yeah?" Derek said playing with a strand of Meredith's hair.

"Yeah, it's peaceful. I can barely hear any cars." Meredith said lying on Derek's chest so that she was looking at him.

"I love you" Derek sighed.

Meredith chuckled. "I love you too." She replied kissing him lightly on the nose.

"So, I think we need to talk…" Derek said trying to keep it casual.

Meredith immediately tensed up in his arms but her voice remained falsely casual.

"Yeah?" Meredith squeaked out.

"Yeah… I think you're not as "fine" as you think you are. But we are on holiday and we can just relax… It would be best if you see Dr. Dustin about it when we get back."

Meredith signed and snuggled closer into Derek.

"I think, you're right." Meredith said slowly, slightly shocked that she said those words.

"Did I hear correctly? Did Meredith Grey say that Derek Shepherd was right? I think it is the world stopped turning, the apocalypse. And nobody was here to hear that… Can you say it again so I can record it?" Derek grinned cheekily

Meredith whacked his arm.

"Ow that hurt" Derek said laughing

"Did you want me to kiss it better?" Meredith replied sarcastically.

"Yes" Derek flipped Meredith around and pouted.

"Don't give me that look! You know I can't resist…" Meredith said angrily cupping his face.

"Don't fight the temptation Meredith…" Derek whispered, his husky voice giving her goose bumps.

"Ohhh I hate you right now."

* * *

"Get up lazy" Meredith said throwing a pillow at Derek.

"Humph, whyy. We're on holiday…" Derek whined

"Because I'm determined to make the best out of this holiday and we're in a beautiful country. Stop whining you sound like a five-year old."

"A five-year old can't do what we just did." Derek said raising his eyebrow suggestively.

Meredith looked shocked. "I can't believe you just said that!"

"Well you better believe it baby! Can't we just stay in the hotel…?" Derek pouted

"Oh no. That's not going to work. If we were going to stay in the hotel all day I would not have flown all that way. So get your ass out of bed!"

"Fine! No sex for you tonight!" Derek exclaimed throwing the bed sheets off him.

"Hey fine by me, let's see if **you **can handle that"

"Maybe I should have thought before I said that" Derek mumbled.

"Yes, I think so" Meredith laughed as she tied up her hair looking at herself in the mirror.

_Things are going to be okay_ she repeated those words over and over in her head like a mantra and if she concentrated hard on those words, she nearly believed them.

* * *

"It is beautiful here. So serene and tranquil." Derek said as they walked in the botanical gardens.

Meredith looked at Derek with an _I told you so_ look.

"Derek look… It's a tram" Meredith exclaimed pointing at the old tram across the road.

They sat quietly on the tram looking at the beautiful city of Christchurch. The bells rang from the beautiful, old cathedral. Derek looked at Meredith snuggled in his arms watching the calm scenery.

"I love it here."

"Mmmm" Derek agreed and pressed his lips to her head. He breathed in her lavender scent and sighed. He was tired. Being strong was tiring. Suddenly he began to cry. _Shit_.

* * *

**A/N:** Soooo mainly fluff here, with a bit of drama. I plan to have this thing resolved soon. I have a plan now. Yay. Also next they're Wellington. Then Auckland, Queenstown then back to Christchurch then back to Seattle. But sorry I'm not going to go into much detail in Wellington and Queenstown... OHHHH I just thought of new drama to add... yay grins wickedly Hope you liked this chapter. Sorry it's kind of short again.

**Heather0120**- I like steamy, bathtub scenes hehe. I don't actually think I know anyone called Heather… oh I do… but she's not in my year and I don't actually know her that well. OH and my optometrist was called Heather I think… hehe. Thanks for reviewing. (I started the next chapter already :P)

**chaty1**- Shucks thanks! I think I did pretty well, updated like basically the same day because I think I updated this early this morning? Can't remember… Anyways. Thanks for reviewing.

**natzbadfairy**- I love you too! I love that you review my stories! hehe. I updated now! Smiling? Probably not because I made Derek cry… Thanks for reviewing though!

**millers-rule**- Yay new reader! Oh don't be jealous of us NZers… it's not all that great. Well the sun is out today though. Thanks for reviewing.

**Nati girl**- You're back so that's yay! Yeah… people were complaining that it was too fluffy so I added a touch of drama which never hurt anyone. Personally I say more fluff. But yeah… I have some more drama planned but just depends how long this fic drags out… it's never-ending… Thanks for reviewing.

**tayababy**- A touch of NZ here. It's quite nice here. Very… green hehe. Thanks for reviewing.

Happy reading. Flick me a review please.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

_Shit. I'm not supposed to be crying. I'm supposed to be strong for Meredith._

"Derek?" Meredith looked up and saw the tears falling down his cheeks. She reached up and dabbed them with her fingertips.

"What's wrong?" she asked looking afraid. Derek was the only thing keeping her together right now and he was upset. She felt like she was breaking just a little more to see him this way.

"Nothing Mer… I'm fine." Derek smiled and pulled Meredith closer to him.

"Derek. You're not fine. I say that when I'm not fine. I use the exact same tone so don't try pulling that on me."

"Meredith."

"Derek." Meredith said in the same tone, mockingly, smiling slightly.

"Nothing is wrong with me… I'm just tired."

"Derek. I've never seen you cry. There is something wrong. Please. Just tell me."

"Okay Mer. I truly am tired. It's just exhausting seeing what you are going through. Your self… self- I don't know. Self- analysis? Self-torture or self- whatever and not being able to help you. Mer, can you let me in? Because I told you I will be with you and wait for you, but honestly it's tearing me apart and I don't know how much longer I can be strong." Derek looked down at his hands, tears running down his face; his laugh lines filling up looking like little rivers had formed on his face. Meredith noticed that he looked older, worn out.

"I'll try Derek." Meredith whispered clasping on tightly to Derek's hand.

"Good. No more secrets." Derek kissed the top of her head delicately.

"No more secrets. I love you Derek."

"I love you too."

* * *

Back in their hotel room Meredith sat on their large bed thinking while Derek took a shower. He had been so good to her these past few weeks and all she did was mope around. She knew it wasn't healthy to dwell on the past. She finally made a conscious decision to move on. Not forget, but move on and live her life because otherwise it would destroy not only her, but Derek too. 

Meredith walked into the bathroom and stripped down. She slowly opened the shower door and slid in.

She sighed deeply before hugging Derek's back as the water washed away her pain. Christening her for their new start.

"Mer… "Derek uttered, merely a whisper. He turned around and saw her beautiful face. Water mixed with tears running down her face.

Meredith silenced him with a passionate kiss. Derek murmured a groan through her lips and lifted her up.

"I'm done making you wait for me Derek. I'm ready to move on." she whispered cupping his face and initiating another kiss.

* * *

**A/N:** New chapter for you guys! I have no life, therefore I write more Grey's Anatomy fics... it's really quite sad... Oh well... Okay now I'm seriously sad because I have no job for the holidays, no boyfriend, no drivers license, no money... depressed...

Hey I have a question. There's heaps of pictures of Derek and "someone" in the shower. See I always thought it was Addison, you as in when Derek saw Meredith in Finn's clothes and assumed they were sleeping together thennn proceeded to have "hot shower sex" in their little shower... Anyways... I've seen avatars where it so looks like Meredith...

So back to the story... it's short again. But it seemed appropriate to end this chapter here. Things are better between Meredith and Derek. Meredith is moving on because she finally sees what she is doing to Derek and Derek puts Meredith's needs before his own. Personally I don't think we have fully dealt with Derek's feelings on this because he is still hurt that Meredith didn't tell him. But you know I think it's time for them to move on. Time to create new drama!

That's it for now!

**millers-rule**- Ahh yay for the fluff! More to come, but we must add the drama I have planned also… :: grins wickedly:: Thanks for reviewing!

**natzbadfairy-** Has Derek cried on the show? Hmmm… well it seemed appropriate here! Thanks for reviewing!

**TVHollywoodDiva**- Thanks! Yeah they've been to hell and back on the show too! Thanks for reviewing!

**Addicted2Greys**- I have my trusty thesaurus out so trying to make it detailed with variations! Variations on a theme! Musical terminology! hehe… anyways… Thanks for reviewing!

**Kilikina1**- Aw cheers! Kudos for reading it all. It's getting rather long. I'm feeling like I should finish it soon. But I'm not sure how just yet… maybe it will be the never-ending fic? Thanks for reviewing!

**tayababy**- Haha, very true. I need to add it somewhere here where Meredith withholds sex. It's funny when she does… Thanks for reviewing!

**Heather0120**- Ohhh we haven't aired season 3 here yet, but I try to watch it on youtube but sometimes it doesn't load properly so I don't get to see all of it :( I don't think I saw that bit… Anyways… Thanks for reviewing!

Happy reading, flick us a review. Make a girl happy. :)


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

"The people here talk funny." Meredith commented.

"What did you expect them to sound like Americans Mer?" Derek laughed and mockingly rolled his eyes.

"Hey! Don't roll your eyes at me" Meredith playfully punched his arm and moved off their hotel bed to sit on Derek's lap on the couch.

"Where are we off to next Dr. Shepherd?" She mumbled huskily.

"Hmmm well we're going to Wellington later this evening…" Derek flipped Meredith around so she was pinned under him.

"Later this evening… does that mean we have the afternoon to do whatever we want…"

"I think that might mean that…" Derek replied leaning in for a kiss.

* * *

"I think it's time to head off the airport." Derek yelled from the bedroom while Meredith was in the bathroom.

"Okay…" Meredith walked out and gathered her things.

"You know I love you right?" Derek asked creeping up behind her and hugging her back, resting his head on her shoulder.

"I know Derek, I love you too. So much it hurts." Meredith replied turning around kissing him lightly.

Derek deepened the kiss his hands making their way to unbutton Meredith's top.

"Derek…" Meredith groaned into his mouth. "We can't…. we have to catch a plane soon and we're going to miss it…"

"We can always catch a later flight…" Derek replied kissing down her neck and unbuttoning her blouse.

"No…" Meredith said swatting him away.

"Fine. But you owe me…" Derek said sitting on the freshly made bed to watch Meredith pack.

"Why are you watching me? Have you finished packing?"

"Yeah… you are really beautiful…"

"Derek… you are a sex-crazed maniac did you know that?!" Meredith threw a pillow at him.

"That's it. No sex for a week!" Meredith exclaimed throwing the last of her stuff in the suitcase.

"You kidding right?"

"Nope" Meredith grinned and opened the door to leave the hotel.

"You coming?" Meredith asked a shocked Derek.

Derek walked past Meredith brushing past her ever so slightly. He bent down and lightly kissed Meredith, just below the ear.

"You know you can't get enough of me" he whispered seductively.

Meredith groaned inwardly. She did want him bad but she was adamant on keeping her pact.

"Derek, if we _were_ having sex. I'd do you right here, right now. But we have a plane to catch."

* * *

**A/N:** Again, my author note is longer than the actual chapter. Sorry just really a filler. MerDer fluff though!

I've decided, I am most defiantly going to finish the fic soon unless you know you guys are like NOOOOO… but I'm pretty sure you're sick of it!!!

Also no updates until you guys listen to "Deciphering Me" by Brooke Fraser and I get ONE comment about it from an AMERICAN reader!!! Sorry but this song is awesome!

**tayababy**- More withholding sex. But it's more fun when Meredith does it, like on the show hehe. Thanks for reviewing.

**chaty1**- Thanks! Sorry, took me longer than usual, just running out of ideas… well running out of ideas to make my next big idea flow… like sub-plot stuff :S Thanks for reviewing.

**chocolatetree- **Heya Sophie! What does Oriental Parade look like? I have ideas for the next chapter but yeah… I just have to pick a place for them to go! And I don't remember much of Wellington… I went like 3 years ago… I just remember lots of hills… Thanks for reviewing.

**luv24+Alias**- Aw… shucks… make me blush :P. Thanks for reviewing.

**natzbadfairy**- Seriously?! I don't remember him crying!!! GRRR, Season 2 needs to come out on DVD SOON! I can't wait any longer!!! It's getting all fuzzy in my brain. Then again Season 2 had too much MerDer angst for my liking… I'm liking Season 3 :P More bath scenes I say :P Thanks for reviewing.

**Nati girl- **Thank you! Thanks for reviewing.

**TVHollywoodDiva**- hehe thanks for reviewing.

**madison3788- **I don't want to side-step the issue of the babies, but I feel it's important for them to move on… I seriously seriously Do NOT remember that!!! Why can I not remember it!!!! It seems like such an important clip for me to remember!!! Again I am frustrated that Season Two is not out yet… Thanks for answering my burning question and also thanks for reviewing.

**Heather0120-**Yeah… sorry about the short chapters… running low on ideas at the moment, well no, but yes… maybe I will finish it soon. I don't remember Derek crying… I think I'm going to cry now! Thanks for reviewing.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

"Mer…" Derek rolled over in their bed at the five-star Bolton hotel in Wellington awaken by Meredith jabbing her in the back.

"Let's go for a walk?" she grinned

"At 3 o'clock in the morning? Are you nuts?" Derek rubbed his eyes lethargically.

"No seriously. Let's go for a walk." Meredith slid out of bed and slid on some track pants and coat.

"Come on Derek… get up" Meredith walked over and pulled him up.

"When we get back there better be some sex…."

"There will be no sex Derek. Now accept it and get up" Meredith moaned tugging at his arm.

"Argh. Fine, but only because I love you." Derek reluctantly hauled himself out of bed and planted a kiss of Meredith. He pulled on the clothes he had thrown on the chair last night and followed Meredith dutifully out the door.

* * *

Derek held Meredith close into him as they walked along the street. The footpaths were void. An occasional car would flicker past them. They walked together in a comfortable silence, just glad to be in each other's company.

Derek held his breath as they walked past the store with the baby items. Meredith didn't look up or flinch. She held tightly to Derek and continued to walk with him. _Learn from the guilt and do your best to move on. _Meredith thought holding back her tears.

Derek stopped as something caught his eye in the shop window.

Meredith looked on quietly rubbing Derek's hand gently.

"Mer, look at that." Derek pointed at the beautiful three-stoned, white-gold ring.

"It's beautiful" Meredith whispered resting her head on Derek's shoulder as he gazed the ring.

"Meredith" Derek stooped down onto one knee.

"I know it's really soon after the accident and we've been through so much, but I think that is all the more reason for doing this. I love you. I love you more than words can describe. Every time I look at you I fall in love all over again. I love your lavender conditioner, your ineffectual fists and just every single detail about you. I want to hold you forever. I want to kiss you for forever. I want you to be the person I wake up to every morning and the person I go to sleep with every night. I don't have a ring right at the moment, but Meredith Grey. Will you marry me?"

Derek held Meredith's hand and stroked it lovingly. Meredith's eyes welled up with tears and she stood there gob smacked. She was completely and utterly speechless. Derek cocked his head slightly while grinning that same smile that dubbed him the name McDreamy.

"I…" Meredith looked into his deep blue eyes.

Derek's face fell a little but he looked on at Meredith with faith mentally willing her to say yes.

"I can't Derek." Meredith took a deep breath. "Because I want you to marry me."

Derek raised an eyebrow. Slightly confused by her statement.

Meredith knelt down to his level and cupped his face gently with one hand.

"Derek. The moment you walked up to me in bar I would never walk away from you. There was something special about you. Your cocky confidence, dreamy smile and you're just you. I love you Derek. I know I haven't been here recently but that's what love is supposed to be. We're meant to be together through the thick and thin. You stuck by me Derek. You're my everything. I love you. I will love you for the rest of my life. Will **you** marry me?"

Derek captured her mouth in his and they sat kissing on the footpath outside the window of a jewellery store.

"Tomorrow. I'm buying that ring." Derek murmured into her lips.

"I'll take that as a yes then?" Meredith leaned her forehead against his.

"You know it."

* * *

**A/N:** YAY!!! GREY'S ANATOMY SEASON 2 IS OUT 25TH JANUARY. $90-$100. Only problem is, CD/DVD store doesn't really know and I have $70 worth of vouchers and I'm trying to pre-order it. I'm rather annoyed at the moment. I am SOOO bored as well. Holidays are boring, which is why I need a job…

I think that might be the ending of that fic. Unless you guys want more? Shout out if you do. Because I have a few plans if you want more.

**natzbadfairy**- I can't wait until I get it!!! But I won't even be at home when it comes out! I'll be in Dunedin… which sucks… but I'm sooo going to get it! Thanks for reviewing!

**millers-rule-** Ew… Still Addek stuff. That was the only thing I didn't really like about season 2. Too much MerDer angst. But I guess it got viewers hooked! Thanks for reviewing!

**chocolatetree**- Heya Sophie. I guess you will count as my reader who has listened to Deciphering Me! Did you know? The Bolton Hotel in Wellington is THE only 5 star hotel in Wellington! There are like none in Chch, and theres the Hilton in Aucks which is FLASH. They're on Lambton Quay sort of btw. EMAIL ME BACK ABOUT OUT FIC! Thanks for reviewing!

**chaty1-** As you might have figured out. Ideas weren't coming so well. They weren't supposed to propose… it sort of happened… Thanks for reviewing!


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

"It's beautiful Derek." Meredith sat on the plane to Queenstown while looking at her ring.

"It's from New Zealand too. One day we can tell our kids that their mommy and daddy got engaged in New Zealand" Derek whispered kissing her temple.

"Derek. I don't want to have kids." Meredith whispered looking down at her hands.

"Mer…" Derek questioned.

"I love you Derek. But I can't go through what we went through again. I know you want kids and I'm not willing to give you kids. So it's okay if you don't want to marry me anymore…" Meredith began to slip the ring off her finger.

"Mer. Stop." Derek placed his hand over her hands.

"I'm not going to lie, I want kids. But I want kids not just with anyone. I want kids with you. But you're more important to me than having children so if you're not okay with it. Then that's okay. I love you." Derek smiled at Meredith inwardly feeling devastated that Meredith didn't want children.

"Thank you Derek. I love you."

* * *

"We're going bungy jumping." Meredith announced as they had checked into their hotel and was relaxing.

"Seriously? You really up for it?" Derek asked as Meredith flopped into his lap.

"I'm more than ready for it. Let's go" Meredith kissed him lightly and jumped up, hand outreached to help Derek out of his chair."

"Seriously?" Derek's face lit up in excitement. He had always wanted to go bungy jumping.

"Seriously."

* * *

Derek and Meredith stood on the platform waiting for their turn to go bungy jumping. The cool air brushed against Meredith's skin and she shivered a little.

"Nervous?" Derek asked smiling boldly.

"A little." Meredith blushed.

Derek wrapped her in a hug and kissed the top of her head.

"Nothing to be nervous about. It's going to be wonderful. You'll see."

"How do you make everything just so much better?" Meredith asked looking up into his eyes.

"Because I'm wonderful."

"Oh and not at all arrogant." Meredith said sarcastically.

Derek laughed again and his eyes sparkled. Meredith couldn't help but feel lucky to have him.

"You're up" The bungy instructor signalled to Derek.

Derek quickly kissed Meredith and smiled walking over to the platform.

They strapped him up as Meredith watched anxiously. _Why did I suggest this?_

"One, Two, Three… BUNGY" everyone yelled as Derek jumped off the stand.

Derek yelled in excitement as Meredith held her breath.

She watched as his face lit up as he sliced through the air, arms stretched out. His hair slightly ruffled by the wind and suddenly the cord snapped and Derek went plunging into the river. Hitting the water with a loud splash.

* * *

**A/N:** If you read New Beginnings, you will know I'm real tired… So not very long. Yes I know bad chapter, short, and predictable but oh well. Sorry.

**Millzy**- I didn't like the wind and hills. Plus shopping was real expensive. Especially down like Lambton Quay. Museum… Te papa? Where's the place with that ride thingy… I think maybe in Te Papa… I can't really remember, but I remember thinking this is going to be cool then it was just flashing lights and it was stupid. The Hilton's sound sooo cool, and really expensive like $300 a night… Thanks for reviewing.

**chocolatetree- **Really? I didn't notice that through my researching. And yes Bolton is 5-star. There are none in Chch, so I can't talk. I've had SO many different dates from people. I'm waiting until after new years before I go ask to preorder because it looks like the stores aren't sure. You should get it from gamesplanet the website. You can preorder it for like $10 cheaper and it's sent straight to your house. It's awesome! I got Alias season 4 there. And yeah I have vouchers so I'm waiting. Thanks for reviewing.

**natzbadfairy**- Yes! Being original! Lol! It's probably been done somewhere! Thanks for reviewing.

**chaty1**- Thanks! Yes well I like to spice things up hehe. Thanks for reviewing.

**aquamaureen- **More! I don't think I took that long either. But it's not very good. Thanks for reviewing.

**tayababy**- I'll keep it going until I completely run out of ideas! We have this TV guide thing where it has a dvd with the summer TV lined up and I bought it but I shouldn't have because I already know what's happening in season 3 for now so it's like what was the point?! But there was a picture of Patrick Dempsey's eyes and like "Guess the eyes" That was the only pair of eyes I did know! Thanks for reviewing.

Happy Reading. Review please! Make me happy because today I am sad. I am bored out of my mind.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

Meredith stood still in shock and everyone around her moved in slow motion as they rushed to get Derek out of the water. Her head spun and everything around her became fuzzy.

_Snap out of it. You're a doctor_

Meredith shook her head and ran over to where Derek had been pulled out.

"Move, move, MOVE. I'm a fucking doctor. Move out of my way" Meredith screamed as she pushed her way through the crowd of people.

"Oh my god. Derek." Meredith rushed towards him as he lay semi-conscious on the ground.

"Mer…" Derek muttered; words slurred together.

"Derek. Hang in there Derek. Stay awake okay. Stay awake for me. We're going to get you to a hospital and everything will be okay."

"I think I hit my head on a rock at the bottom of the lake… I'll need an MRI…" Derek mumbled, his eyes reluctantly shutting.

Meredith chuckled, tears forming in her eyes.

"Derek, don't sleep yet okay? We're going to get you checked out and, and then we can finish our holiday and go back to Seattle and tell everyone about our engagement."

"CAT scan…"

"Doctors make the worse patients." Meredith said smiling at him through her tears.

"I love you Mer…" Derek stroked her face lovingly. Meredith put her hand over the one Derek had placed on her cheek. She kissed his hand softly.

"I love you too."

"Mer, I think you owe me a ring?" A smile crept on his face as they lifted the stretcher onto the helicopter to take him to the closest hospital.

Meredith laughed and held his hand as they entered the helicopter.

"I guess I do." Meredith felt the lump in her throat returning and tried to hold her tears.

"Don't cry Mer. I'll be okay."

"I know" Meredith whispered, praying that he was right.

* * *

Meredith sat in the waiting room of the small hospital. Small in comparison to Seattle of course. They were in New Zealand. Population; 4.5 million. She watched the clock ticking as she waited. The ticking of the clock matched the beating of her heart. Both so loud, they resonated through her head. She wondered if the person next to her could hear her heart beating. She was reminded of the times she lay on Derek's chest listening to his heart. The hardest part was being a surgeon and not being able to do anything.

"He's going to be fine. He had a subdural hematoma. So as you know we had to do a craniotomy to control the bleeding. It was a successful procedure and barring any complications he should be fine."

"Thanks, can I go see him?" Meredith crossed her arms close to her body and looked almost pleadingly at the doctor.

"He's not awake yet, but you can sit with him."

"Thank you." Meredith followed the doctor to Derek's room.

He doctor opened the door for Meredith and she stepped in. She stood close to the door looking at the tubes sticking out from Derek's arms, his head wrapped with a bandage, the beeping of the machines.

Meredith silently sat down and pulled her seat to sit closer to Derek. She hesitated before placing her hand on top of his. She slowly laced his fingers into hers and clasped his limp hand with hers. She held his hand protectively and watched him sleep.

* * *

**A/N:** Hey guys. Hope you all had a great Christmas. Christmas just reminds me that I have a dysfunctional family. Not in a great mood. My school didn't send me a leadership letter and I'm really disappointed because I think I deserve to be interviewed for a position. I've given 4 years dedicated service. I'm in a zillion music groups, always helping out, nice, friendly. But I think it's because I'm student rep and they don't want to give me another position because they think I'll get too stressed. I dunno… But I'm not happy. And I'm still jobless… which sucks because I'm constantly aware of my money…

Sorry it's a short chapter too.

Anyways…

**greysaddict4life**- Sorry… hehe… I'm sure he will be fine… hopefully… Thanks for reviewing.

**chocolatetree- **I'm sure there is a minute chance it would happen. But creative license… so I can do whatever! Thanks for reviewing. I'm writing more of Deciphering Me. Kind of. I'm really tired right now. I got up early to go shopping and went to sleep late and currently it's kind of late… haha.

**Millzy**- I think it was in the museum. Te papa was interesting… I think… Giant Kiwi… not that's at the zoo. But there was something in Te Papa outside we were climbing on… Thanks for reviewing.

**chaty1**- Sorry I've been reading fics rather than writing, hence the lack of updates… Plus holiday mode. Brain-dead haha. Thanks for reviewing.

**natzbadfairy**- Oh but I can… hehe… I am evil… Thanks for reviewing.

**TVHollywoodDiva**- Thanks haha.

**tayababy**- That would be an idea… but they're going back to Seattle soon… that is if Derek comes out alive. Or maybe they're going back to Seattle for Derek's funeral… hmmm… good way to end the fic… Thanks for reviewing.

Happy Reading.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

Derek opened his eyes and squinted at the brightness of the room. He looked around, taking in his surroundings. He could make out he was in a hospital room. Something soft brushed against his hand and he looked down to see Meredith lying against him. Their hands tangled together and her hair draped delicately across her face. She turned a bit from her restless sleep. Derek smiled crookedly as he watched her beautiful fiancée slumber.

She stirred slightly and lifted her head up to meet his soft blue eyes. She gasped and tucked a piece of hair behind her eyes and she stood up to examine him.

"Mer… you can get another doctor to do that…" he murmured quietly.

"I know. But I want to make sure myself." she whispered trying to be strong.

A tear slipped down her cheek and her hand begun to shake.

"Mer?" Derek questioned

Meredith broke down in sobs. Derek looked at her lovingly and held out his arms for her to move into. She lay sobbing in his arms as he stroked her hair.

"I'm sorry Derek. This is my fault. We shouldn't have gone bungy jumping."

"Hey, shhh… it's no ones fault. I'm fine now and it was just inevitable. I wanted to go bungy jumping as much as you did. It's not your fault."

"I'm sorry…" She tried to get out of his arms to sit back in her own seat.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"You've had surgery and I'm being selfish me again and lying all over you and probably hurting you and I should just…"

"Mer. Stop rambling. I'm okay and you're not selfish. I love you."

"I love you too Derek."

* * *

"Dr. Shepherd. It's an honour to meet you. I've heard many stories about you."

"Thank you. I hear you're the best in New Zealand Dr. Field."

"Yes well. I don't like to brag…" The doctor blushed and flicked opened Derek's chart.

"Hmmm a modest doctor. I didn't know those existed" Meredith said laughing.

"Hey. I am modest. I just state the truth, and the truth is I'm one of the best neurosurgeons around…" Derek answered proudly crossing his arms over his chest.

The doctor laughed and Meredith rolled her eyes.

"So doc when do I leave this place?" Derek asked patting the side of the bed signalling for Meredith to sit next to him.

Meredith shot him a look saying _the doctor's in the room you idiot_ and Derek grinned back lust filled in his eyes and Meredith rolled her eyes yet again.

"Ideally I would like to have kept you a few more days for observation. But you are ready to go. You're a neurosurgeon and Meredith's a resident specialising in neurosurgery. Plus I hear you are planning on heading back as soon as you're discharged?" Dr. Field rested her hand on her hip as she spoke to the couple.

"Ah yes, we're on the next plane back to Seattle. Hospital is missing us and worried about Derek."

"We have had many calls from Dr. Webber."

"Hospital isn't the same without me." Derek said stretching.

Meredith rolled her eyes yet again. "You are so full of it."

"Thanks Dr. Field."

"Not a problem. Someone will discharge you tomorrow. It's an honour to have met you Dr. Shepherd."

"Thank you, the pleasure is all mine." Derek smiled shaking the doctor's hand.

"We can go home tomorrow." Derek smiled at Meredith when the doctor left the room.

She sighed and sat down on Derek's bed slowly moving into his arms.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing. I'm just glad your okay."

"I'm better than okay now that you're in my arms."

"You are so corny."

"Mmm, only because I love you."

"I love you too. We get to go home."

Meredith smiled at Derek and he gave her a quick kiss.

* * *

**A/N:** Just a quick comment because I'm tried and playing a game. Sorry for the wait, hope it was worth it.

**tayababy**-Ah, I was wondering why I hadn't been emailed when I updated my stories, figured something was up… I don't want Derek to die, I don't think. Thanks for reviewing.

**supershipper**- Thanks man! I'm pretty sure I was just reading your fic… Seattle Christmas. Cute :) It would be a great end to the story. Derek dying. Well not a great one, just a way to end the fic. Thanks for reviewing.

**Millzy- **Glass elevator? Like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory/ Glass elevator? When was that put in? I went 2 years ago… I remember sitting down and looking upwards so like lying down? Thanks for reviewing.

**chaty1-** Is he okay? I never said he was okay… haha Thanks for reviewing.

**TVHollywoodDiva­­- **Ah but is he? Thanks for reviewing.

**GreyRENThead**- That's what I'm doing about my exam results… hoping for the best… And you are right about what you're saying. There are sometimes complications… Thanks for reviewing.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

"Are you feeling alright?" Meredith asked for the umpteenth time.

Derek had refused to sit in a wheelchair protesting that he was strong enough to walk out on his own. He would only let Meredith hold his hand as they signed the discharge forms.

"I'm fine Meredith. Seriously, lighten up." Derek grinned at her as he handed the forms back to the intern who was blushing profusely.

"Hey! Don't tell me to lighten up. I lighten up when I feel… light!" Meredith pouted and glared at him.

Derek chuckled as they were walking out of the hospital.

"Meredith, do you mind loosening your death grip you have going on here" Derek pointed with his free hand to Meredith's intense hold she had on his arm.

"Sorry." Meredith blushed and looked anxiously at Derek.

"Are you okay? Seriously, are you okay?"

Derek kissed Meredith gently. "I'm fine Mer. I'm more than fine…" He raised an eyebrow suggestively.

"Seriously? You're thinking about sex as soon as you get out of hospital?" Meredith looked up at him with disbelief.

"No… actually, I was thinking about sex while I was in the hospital…" Derek grinned sheepishly and climbed into the passenger seat as Meredith held the door open.

"Unbelievable" Meredith mumbled as she entered the car.

"Nice car…" Derek commented looking around the interior of the rental.

"Yeah… I told the man I wanted something nice, expensive and would make the boys want me…"

"Boys Meredith?" Derek raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Yes Derek. You jealous?" Meredith flashed Derek a smile.

"No. I don't get jealous." Derek pouted slumping into his seat a little further.

"Good, because there's nothing to be jealous about… And if anyone should be angry it should be me… I saw all those nurses checking you out there…"

"Oh please." Derek smiled against his will and puffed his chest out a little. Like the male birds looking for a mate.

"Yeah well they were male nurses so they were probably checking me out…" Meredith smiled flicking her hair as the breeze wafted through her car window.

"I love you Mer." Derek said as he admired her elegance as the soft glow from the setting sun lit up her features.

"I love you too." Meredith smiled at him as they stopped at a red light.

Derek smiled a little and rubbed his eyes.

"Tired?" Meredith observed keeping an eye on the road.

"I'm fine. I just can't wait to get back to Seattle."

"Me too. But right now, I can't wait to get back to the hotel so we can go to bed." Meredith sighed smiling at the thought of lying down.

"Bed ay…" Derek answered voice husky and suggestive.

"Don't think about it Derek. You had surgery and I'm tired. I just want to sleep and you to hold me okay?" Meredith quickly said her grip on the steering wheel tightening.

"Of course Mer…" Derek looked at her suspiciously but decided to let it go.

"Okay. Good…"

The sat in silence as Meredith drove around Queenstown looking for her hotel realising she was lost but didn't want to mention that to Derek because he would say I told you so as he suggested they ask for directions before leaving the hospital. She was sure she would find the hotel. Eventually.

Meredith sighed deeply. "I'm sorry I snapped before Derek. I was just scared I lost you and I'm tired now."

"Okay Mer." Derek stroked her cheek lightly.

"So I talked to Cristina last night."

"Yeah?"

"She asked how your hair was looking."

Derek laughed and rubbed his bandaged, shaven head.

"She said she was sure you lost a few points on your "dreaminess" without your hair. "

Meredith smiled and turned to look at Derek again at another red light.

Derek noticed how tired she looked now and smiled back at her, just wishing that they could be home sooner.

"I still love you. Even without the hair" Meredith replied as the light turned green.

"Mer isn't that our hotel?" Derek asked pointing at the building they had past.

"Crap… I'll just turn round here…" Meredith drove around the corner back to their hotel.

She snaked a hand on his thigh, drumming her fingers lightly against his leg and tapped her fingers on the steering wheel with her other hand as she pulled into their hotel.

"Meredith… Why aren't you wearing you're ring?"

* * *

**A/N:** Hey babes! Hope you guys had a good new years. I did. But I got drunk and embarrassed myself and then it turned out I have boy problems… which I'm letting go because I'm sad because I found out my Japanese teacher passed away last night. I'm going to her funeral on Monday. I'm very sad.

**greys101-** Thanks for reading it! Sometimes when I feel like reading fics, I get really happy when I find a long one I haven't read before. But sometimes, I get grumpy and just want updates on ones that I haven't read haha. Soooo thanks for reading and reviewing!

**GreyRENThead**- You are too paranoid hehe. I think they have had enough excitement for a while… or have they?... Thanks for reviewing

**TVHollywoodDiva**- Thanks! Though it's not some of my best work I must say. Thanks for reviewing.

**supershipper**- Shhh you've ruined my plan! No, I have to at least have them through the wedding- so about 10 or more chapters… if you can bear with me… Thanks for reviewing!

**chaty1- **There are some cute moments here I think. My favourite- bald Derek hehehe. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for the review.

Happy Reading.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

"Oh it was just a bit loose…" Meredith said busily trying to rush over to Derek's side of the car to help him out before he tried to get out himself.

"Okay… where is it?" Derek tried to remain calm but wondered where she had put it. If she valued their engagement as much as he did.

"I put it on a chain…" Meredith said pulling out a necklace from under her shirt with the shiny ring pulled in it.

"Oh right…" Derek mumbled a little embarrassed by doubting Meredith.

"I know what you're thinking Derek." Meredith held Derek's arm as they walked back into their hotel.

"What Mer?" Derek asked resting his head on top of hers as they walked into the elevator.

"I love you Derek. And I want to marry you. The accident… everything… has made me realise what you mean to me and I can't wait to marry you." Meredith grinned as Derek assaulted her with kisses.

Meredith moaned into his lips as she felt his body leaning on hers. She had missed that feeling. They stubbled out of the elevator and could hardly keep their hands off each other. Meredith fumbled looking for their room key as Derek continued to kiss her, now moving behind her to smother her neck with his lips.

"Derek…" Meredith moaned as he again enveloped his lips with hers.

"We can't… you just had brain surgery…" Meredith mumbled not really wanting to break the contact with Derek.

"We can be careful…" Derek whispered peeling off Meredith's coat.

"Mmmm… Oh fuck it…" Meredith groaned and threw all rational thinking out the door as she tore off Derek's shirt.

* * *

"I missed that…" Meredith mumbled into his chest.

"You were the one who prompted the "no-sex" rule…" Derek joked.

Meredith rolled off him and poked her tongue out at him as she wrapped a sheet around her exposing Derek.

Meredith walked over to her bathroom before turning around to see Derek staring at her.

"You coming?" She asked seductively smiling.

Derek leaped off the bed, not needing to be asked twice.

* * *

"You know I kind of like you bald…" Meredith commented as they were packing to leave.

"Really?" Derek rubbed his hairless skull.

"Yeah…" Meredith smiled.

"Oh maybe I should make it a permanent thing…" Derek murmured huskily as he crept up behind Meredith hugging Meredith's back while pushing her hair to one side to kiss the back of her neck.

"Don't even think about it…" she mumbled in his lips as she turned around to kiss him.

"We have to go now…" Meredith tore herself away from Derek as she continued to gather her things.

"You can't just kiss me like that and walk away…" Derek walked back to Meredith and brushed the strap off her singlet and kissed her shoulder gently.

Meredith squirmed out of his grasp and pulled up the strap wagging her finger at him.

"I want to go home." Meredith sternly said.

"Then can we have sex?" Derek asked smiling audaciously.

"Maybe… if you play your cards right…" Meredith chuckled shaking her head. "But for now pack" she threw his clothes at him and walked to the bathroom to collect her things.

"Mile high club maybe?" Derek asked poking his head round the bathroom.

"PACK" Meredith pushed Derek out of the bathroom following him and whacked his arm lightly as Derek grinned again.

"Vicious. I like it" he growled.

"I think I liked you better when you were unconscious." she zipped up her suitcase and looked over to Derek who still had clothes all over his bed.

"I thought this would happen…" she mumbled helping him pack his things as he tried to seduce Meredith more.

"Stop it…" Meredith giggled as he lightly touched her hip trancing a lazy circle with his index finger. "Seriously, I can start withholding sex again."

Derek quickly moved away and zipped up his suitcase.

"Let's go home then."

Meredith smiled back at Derek and picked up the suitcases, claiming it was too strenuous for Derek.

* * *

**A/N:** Just a bit off fluff. Sorry I haven't updated in ages... just been really hectic with this year being my last year of school and just having more responsiblities... I haven't done personalised comments this time. I'm tired and just trying to update all my fics tonight.

Thanks for understanding and I hope you still leave a nice review for me :)

Happy Reading.


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